“I didn’t ignore you. I just popped out for ten minutes.”
“You never said hello.”
“I didn’t notice. I’m sorry. Hello.”
There was a long silence.
The last thing I wanted was a bad atmosphere on my only day off. I turned around and watered the three plants by the window. They were thirsty.
“Lily.”
“Yeah.” I pruned a few dead leaves off my little peace lilies.
“We need to talk.”
I sighed, putting the water jug down.
Rona came through to the kitchen, leant against one of the counters, and crossed her arms over her chest.
“What about?”
“About us.”
Oh shit. Here we go. I didn’t answer, afraid of where this was heading.
“Is there something wrong?” Rona asked, tentatively.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.
“Do you even want me here anymore?”
“Of course I do.” I folded my arms too and leant back against the counter opposite her. “I just wanted to relax today.”
“I know. That’s why I’m here. I thought we could spend some quality time together.”
“You’ve been on your phone all morning.”
“I’m waiting on you to show an interest in our day.”
“Do you have plans for today? For this week?”
Rona shifted on her feet. “No. Like I said, I’m waiting on you.”
“That’s just it,” I said, unable to hold it back any longer. “It feels like you’re always here waiting on me.”
“You’re the one always working.” Rona looked down. She looked sad. I felt for her, but I also felt annoyed, like I was gripped by something.
“It’s my job.”
“I feel like you’ve become distant. I feel like you’re pulling away from me, and it scares me. You used to make plans with me, rush home, stay up late in bed, talking and stuff… Now it’s like I’m an inconvenience to you. You’ve shut down. I’ve been waiting to see if it was just because you were busy. But now I feel like it is something deeper. I think we need to talk about it.”
I didn’t want to have a big conversation today. Every fibre of my being was screaming to leave the room. Leave the house. Maybe even leave the relationship. The thought scared me. “How can you say that I’m distant when I give you literally all of my free time?”
“Lily.” Rona shook her head.
“Can’t you see how important my work is to me? You knew I was at a crossroads in my career when we got together, and that not having a direction was very upsetting and destabilising for me. I finally found my way, and I need time and space to focus on it.”
“I love that you’ve found your way. It’s all the little things that you’ve stopped doing in our relationship.”
