Because they’re my eyes.
Or rather, the eyes of Violet Kelly, my great-great-grandmother.
Chapter Twelve
Falls by ODESZA ft. Sasha Alex Sloan
April 11, 1912
Violet Kelly.
I knew it was her immediately. Her resemblance to me or mine to her is uncanny and instantly recognizable. It is astonishing to feel as though you’re looking into a mirror.
“Thank… thank you,” I mutter breathlessly. I knew she was here, somewhere on the ship. I had only hoped I would be lucky enough to meet her. I told myself I wouldn’t seek her out in order to keep the secrecy of our project aboard. But I convinced myself that if I found her organically, it was okay. I feel a sharp pang of guilt for not informing Dr. Conrad, and even Ben, that I have a relative on the Titanic and that I knew about it before signing on to the mission. I convinced myself that it wouldn’t change anything and that I was still committed to our job. I believed, perhaps recklessly, that the likelihood of meeting her among the thousands of people aboard the ship was near impossible.
But now, here she is. Standing before me. I hate myself for not knowing what to say to her. Thankfully, my awkward nature does not appear to be hereditary because she takes over the conversation with ease.
“Are you alright, dear? You almost took a tumble there.”
“I’m well, thank you. No harm done to me or the dress.”
“Wonderful.” She takes my hand into hers again. Even through her glove, I can feel the warmth in her hand. Kindness radiates from her eyes. “I’m Violet Kelly. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss—?”
“Alice Mur—Turner.” I correct myself quickly.
“It is lovely to meet you!” She looks toward the shuffleboard game. When my gaze follows hers, I see Ben approaching, having noticed my near trip and fall.
I smile and gesture toward him. “And my brother, Benjamin Turner.”
Ben takes her hand to greet her. As his eyes meet hers, he too realizes where he has seen them before. I can’t tell if he suspects anything or if he is just shocked at the resemblance. He looks back at me, puzzled, but before he can say anything, she motions toward a gentleman approaching us.
“This is my husband, John Kelly. Darling, this is Alice Turner and her brother Benjamin.”
John shakes Ben’s hand and they engage in polite conversation, leaving Violet and me to talk privately.
I stand so that I am properly facing her and able to take her in fully. She’s beautiful. If my recollection is correct, she’s thirty years old right now, two years older than me. She stands taller than me in a pale green day dress with her dark brown hair pulled into a knot. Her skin is fair and freckles dance across the bridge of her nose. Her green eyes look at me in confusion, likely wondering why this awkward young woman is just staring at her. Or, perhaps, she too sees the striking resemblance between us.
Say something, Alice. You’re being weird.
“Are you enjoying your journey?”Is that the best thing I could think of to say?
“Indeed. I have never seen a ship this grand before. I do not particularly enjoy sailing, but I did not want John to travel alone. Is it just you and your brother here, or are you married?”
“Oh no, no, no.” I wave off the notion before realizing I’m being a little too casual and all too awkward.
Thankfully, she laughs. “That would have been my response if I had not found John. He is my match in every way. When you find that, you will just know. It just takes time.”
Time.She doesn’t realize I’m quite familiar with the concept of time right now, especially given the method of travel that’s brought me here.
I have to make myself ask her questions about her life as we walk, many of which I already know the answer to. I’ve studied our family records and ancestry, but something about hearing it directly from the source makes everything feel more real, more legitimate.
I smile and continue asking her questions. “Do you have children?”
“Oh, yes! We have twins, Diana and Evelyn. They are back in Boston with my mother. She cared for them while we traveled. We cannot wait to return home to them. I miss them so much.”
“Twins, how lovely. That must be an adventure!” Evelyn was my father’s grandmother. She eventually married Thomas Murphy, and their son George was my grandfather.
She smiles appreciatively at me. “Thank you. They certainly keep us busy. John proposed we take an extended trip to have some time together, just the two of us. I thought I would enjoy the peace of our travels, but now I long for the loudness of our home. It’s not without its difficulties, of course. They are twins, but they could not be more different.” She unclasps the gold locket that hangs around her neck. Etched into the outside is a rose pattern with the letters V and J interlocked. I recognize it immediately from a box of family heirlooms I have in storage. Inside is a small black-and-white photo of two small girls in front of a grand staircase. She points to a little girl sitting on a stool. “Here, that one on the left, that’s Diana. She’s my wild one. She’s loud, theatrical, and vivacious. When she enters a room, she barrels into it. If she has a thought, you’re going to hear about it. And she hasmanythoughts!” Violet is laughing as she points to the other little girl, standing behind her sister. “On the right, that’s my Evelyn. She’s quieter, a thinker. You can see the wheels turning when you look at her face. I have to coax her feelings out sometimes. She guards herself a little too well, I think. See how she has her hand on her sister's shoulder? She tries to take care of everyone and protect them like that.”
