“What is it?” I open the envelope, unsure of its contents and why Ben seems so focused on watching me open it. Inside the envelope is a thick stack of glossy photos, printed as if you went to a kiosk in the grocery store. The first one on the top of the stack is of Violet laughing on deck when she initially thought Edward and I were an item.
“Oh, my god.” My voice trembles. I dissolve into tears. I trace my hand over the photo, over her face, her smile. Something I thought I would have to rely on by memory is now in my hands, to have forever. I flip through the stack to find more photos of Violet and me walking together, talking, and laughing over the last few days. I view photos of Charlie and me, walking together on deck, holding hands, and laughing in the cabin. Moments I thought I’d have to replay in my head can now live forever in my home, to remind me of this experience and the people that have changed my life. The photo of Charlie and I walking on deck is from the night Ben caught us out together, when I gave him some ridiculous astronomy cover story. Ben has been taking these photos longer than I realized.
“Ali, I noticed you changing during this experience. You started acting lighter, more free. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was because of certain people. I just started tapping my camera anytime I saw you happy, anytime I saw you being the truest, most free version of you. I didn’t expect things to unfold how they have, and I wanted you to have tangible memories to hold on to when we got back. And now, with everything turning out as it has,” he nods his head toward Charlie, “I just wanted you to have a reminder that you deserve to be this happy.”
“Ben, this is… this is incredible. I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much.” I pull him into a hug and cry into his chest. For someone who struggles to show emotion in front of others, I sure have broken some walls down over the last week.
Ben rubs my back and laughs. “At a loss for words? That’s rare for you, Ali.”
I pull back and sniffle through a smile. “Don’t get used to it.”
Sarah and Eric walk over with their bags and prepare to depart. We share a moment together, just reflecting on what we’ve collectively been through. I know I, for one, could not have survived this experience without Sarah’s support, or Eric’s consistent level headed thinking, or Ben’s entire existence. I’m sure Ben and Eric bonded, similar to how Sarah and I did. I think we weren’t just meant to do this mission; we were meant to do it together.
Before she grabs her suitcase, I pull Sarah aside privately a few feet away from where Ben, Charlie, and Eric are talking. I lean up against the doorframe with my arms crossed. “Thank you for everything, Sarah. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”
Sarah’s face curls into a cheeky smile. “You know, I went into this, not liking you at all. I can’t even say why,” she laughs. “I just think as women, we’re sometimes conditioned to see each other as a threat and it makes us want to tear each other down. It’s not fair or right, but we do it anyway. But I was wrong and I leave here now with a friend. That doesn’t come easy for me. Thank you for making me your friend.”
Sarah extends her hand out to shake. I grab it and pull her into a hug. She may not be a hugger, but a handshake doesn’t seem to capture what we went through these last few days. I can see now that she and I are more alike than I realized, and I didn’t recognize the similarities in the armor we’ve both built around ourselves. We’re forever bonded over the transformative experience we both had this week.
“Hey, Sarah?”
“Yeah?”
“Ben and I eat lunch in the quad between Abbott and Whitmer every day if you ever want to join us.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”
“Of course. You’re my friend now. You're stuck with me.”
She smiles warmly. “I’ll see you next week.”
I watch with a smile as Eric and Sarah depart, hand in hand. Ben notices and looks confused, as if he’s just putting two and two together. After they leave, he turns his attention over to Charlie and I.
“I guess you’ll be going then too, right?” His tone sounds disappointed, almost lonely. We spent all week, the four of us, sharing each other's company. In a world of restrictions and etiquette, we’ve been a safe zone for each other to let our guards down and be ourselves. I can see in his face he’s uncomfortable with going home to an empty apartment while everyone else has paired off.
I smile at him. “Benj, let’s go home.” I nod my head toward the car waiting for Charlie and I. He looks back at me, almost in tears, realizing that my home is his home and I want him to come with me too.
It’s taken me a while to realize that home isn’t only a place. It comes in many forms and is different things to different people. It can be a physical place, a literal building you inhabit. But it can also be the people in your life that make you feel safe, and seen, and cherished. They say home is where your heart is. I used to think that was corny, something that was only embroidered on tapestry and hung on a wall. But it’s true. My home is my family, Ben and Charlie. Wherever they are, that's where my heart is.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Timeless by Taylor Swift
The ride back to my house from Dr. Conrad’s lab in Concord takes about forty minutes. Ben has his head in his phone but is chatting away in the car. I just sit and observe Charlie as he watches the world develop outside the window with a childlike delight and curiosity. I tell Charlie all about Boston as the car makes its way alongside the Charles River, with Ben interjecting whenever he looks up. As we make our way toward my house in Beacon Hill, I point out Fenway Park and Chisholm University. I can’t help but think about every bit of my life I will get to share with Charlie now. It’s exhilarating to experience everything I love for the first time again, through the eyes of someone brand new. I’m champing at the bit to take him to his first Bruins game.
But more than anything, I’m looking forward to the little things, the small moments that exist between the big ones. Cooking for two in the kitchen, getting coffee and reading the paper together, and Saturday mornings in the park. Ben once told me, "Ali, your life is happening without you" and he was right. It was. But now I get to live it. And not only that, I get to share it with someone.
The car stops at my house and Ben runs ahead to unlock the front door with his set of keys. I open the trunk of the car, and just as this magical journey began days ago, my hand meets Charlie’s on the handle of my luggage.
I laugh to myself, amused at the events that have brought us here, before letting go of the suitcase to allow him to grab it. I’ve spent years taking care of everyone else. I suppose I should get used to the idea of someone wanting to take care of me.
As I reach the front door, I turn my head back toward Charlie and smile, gesturing to the entrance. “Welcome home.”
He walks into the house with the luggage in hand before setting it down next to the front door. His eyes widen at the crystal chandelier hanging in the foyer and the large curved staircase. “Wow. This is… beautiful.”
“John had it built for Violet in 1901 right before they married. She stayed here until she died, then her grandson, my grandpa, inherited it. Then my dad left it to me.” I step toward Charlie and slip my hand around his back. “And now it’sours.”
He smiles back at me. I have lived here my entire life, and it has been in my family for generations, but right now, this house feels like a new beginning. A blank canvas for us, ready to be filled with love, laughter, and possibility.
