Even now, heat flared at the memory.
I remember watching him getting dressed once the roads had cleared, making a big show of stopping between each piece of clothing to come back to me and ravage me for a moment before I laughingly pushed him off again. He needed to catch his ride back to Quince Valley with Sarah and Jamie. When he was finally fully clothed, his parka over his arm, he’d spotted the pile of business cards I’d dropped on the desk.
He picked one up, smiling as he looked it over. “Ellie James, Master Electrician,” he read. “God, you’re hot.”
I’d sprung for the cards with my picture on them—important I found in my line of work. I flushed, embarrassed. “Oh my God, please don’t look at that.”
“Why not? This is competence porn. Can I keep one?”
I laughed. “Sure. You can give one to anyone needing electrical work in California.”
“No way. I’m keeping this for myself. Actually, I’m going to take a few. One for each pocket.”
Sam stuffed a handful of them into his various pockets, making me laugh more. Then he walked over to me and knelt beside the bed so he was eye level with me from where I’d been watching him, cheek propped on a pillow.
“This isn’t the last time we’re going to see each other, you know,” he said.
I smiled, like he’d made me do all night and all day. I floated on a cloud of laughter with Sam that weekend. “Is that right?”
“Nope. Mark my words. Even if it’s years from now andyou’re married and living in some cute little house with a white picket fence, I’m going to show up for you.”
“What, to be a home wrecker?”
He brushed my hair back behind my ear. “No. I’m just going to make sure you’re okay. We don’t even have to talk. Maybe you won’t even know I’m there. But just know you have to live your best life, Ellie, and I’ll be there to make sure you’re doing it. Even if you never know it.”
Back then, it was a promise, built on the things I’d told him in the dark, the surprising confessions to a stranger I knew I’d never see again. Now, it felt like a dull ache; an old bruise I thought was healed. The card in my hand was worn, the corners softened. It was a little curved, too, like it spent time tucked away somewhere snug. I flipped it around, intending to toss it.
But there, on the back, was something scrawled in pen.
It was his name,Sam Caplin, along with a local phone number, and a different email than the one we’d spoken on under that.
The wordsI can explainwerewritten underneath.
CHAPTER 5
A Completely Normal Family Dinner
SAM
“You sure you don’t want another one, honey?” Mom pushed the plate of burgers at me. The concern on her face made my stomach hurt.
“I’m full, Mom. But thank you.”
She ran her fingers over her pearls, her eyebrows slanted in worry. She’d dressed up for dinner, which made me feel worse. I wished we could have a normal, casual meal instead of her going to all this trouble like she did every month.
“You sure?” Mom asked.
I felt itchy. All over. Maybe I was developing hives. I’d never had hives. “Yup. I’m good.”
“He’s full, Mom,” Cora chorused from the computer.
Okay, admittedly, ‘normal family dinner’ left the chat ages ago, when Mom nearly had a breakdown after Cora and her husband announced they were moving overseas for Tristan’s job—the reason the number Sarah would have given Ellie didn’t work. Shortly after, my situation actually did put Mom in the hospital for a couple of days. It was very on brand for our mother. Still, it wracked me with guilt. After I was back home, I’d stayed in my childhood bedroom for a couple ofmonths, but left probably before I should have just to get some breathing room. As a concession, I’d told Mom I’d come for weekly dinners. When Cora found out, she’d offered to join via video, which was ridiculous, considering the time difference. But it was a relief to have her there, and surprisingly, it placated Mom, so here we were.
Mom sighed, giving up on shoving burgers down my throat. “Okay, then. I’ll go get dessert.”
On screen, Cora flopped back in her chair. Tristan yawned.
“How are you guys doing?” I asked, since Dad had gotten up and was yelling at the TV, where the Red Sox were flailing.
