“Bye,” I said. Then I went inside before this could get any worse.
CHAPTER 11
Friends is Best
ELLIE
Iwas at the job site a few days later when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I was stringing wire, a parenting audiobook playing in my ears. It was probably Kit. She and Chip had gotten into a fight and she’d been texting me all day about it. He was still sleeping on the couch. I was exhausted with coaching her through these fights, but I knew if I told her how I really felt, she’d back away.
Luckily she knew I couldn’t respond when working.
I paused as I pulled a strip of yellow cable through a stud, confused about what the narrator of my book was talking about. I realized I’d zoned out of the whole last chapter. I hadn’t been able to concentrate all day. I kept replaying Monday night in my head. All of it—the way Sam was with Henry. The way I was with Sam. My stomach roiled with mortification even now.
I lost hold of the cable. I made a sound of frustration and stood up, shame and anger twisting in my gut. I wiped my forehead with my shoulder. It was almost time for me to leave to get Tommy, and on top of everything, I was annoyed I was stringing electrical cable on my own. I’d hiredsomeone to help me on this job—I was replacing a whole knob and tube system at this lovely older couple’s home, and it was much faster with help. But the guy had called in for the second time this week, leaving me to do it on my own.
I wished some things could just be easy.
I pulled out my phone to pause the book. Then I saw the text on my screen. It wasn’t Kit.
SAM: Can we talk?
My stomach flipped.
I started typing out a response, something like “maybe tonight,” then stopped. I already told the homeowners I’d need to spend a couple of extra days here. I didn’t need to rush to finish. I still had to do my afternoon pump before picking up Henry. But I had a minute, and I was alone in the house. I could speak to the father of my child without getting tied up in knots.
I pressed call.
“Hey,” Sam said when he picked up. “I didn’t necessarily mean right this minute.”
“Oh. Well, I’m at work. This felt more efficient.”
“Are you sure you can talk?”
“What’s going on, Sam. Is everything okay?”
“Yup.” A beat passed. “How are you? How’s Henry?”
He was stalling. Whatever he was going to tell me wasn’t good. Maybe he was leaving town again. But thatwouldbe good. It was what I wanted. To keep my life orderly. Planned. Surprise-free.
I dropped down onto the back steps outside. This place backed onto a creek, which babbled softly in the late afternoon sun.
Fine. Whatever. I played along. “Henry’s good. He keepstrying to build a tower like you did for him. So far he’s mastered two blocks.”
“Atta boy.”
I said nothing. Let him speak.
Sam cleared his throat. “Ellie, I wanted to apologize for Monday.”
Surprise rendered me silent. “Why?”What part? When I fucked you with my eyes?
“Oh. The um… high five.”
I relaxed slightly, my mouth tipping up. “Yeah, okay, that was weird.”
I could practically hear him cringe. “I’m sorry. I just—” Sam let out a heavy sigh. “It’s just, everything about this is weird.”
Something loosened in my chest at the admission. Just a little. “Yeah,” I said. I hesitated, considering. “But I don’t think there’s any way this wouldn’t be strange. We still don’t really know each other that well. And we have a baby together.”
