“Tommy was assaulted,” I said. “Pretty badly.”
Sam’s face fell. “I’m so sorry, El.”
I nodded, swallowing the thorny knot growing in mythroat. “He was such a sweet baby. Did I tell you that? A shit sleeper compared to Henry.” I laughed, but I felt no humor right now. “Tommy was so observant. He loved the world around him. As a kid he was soft and sweet and even silly when you got to know him. He loved to draw. But he was shy. He had a hard time making friends. And where we lived, he ended up going to this massive high school. From day one, these kids, these fuckingwannabe gangsters, they honed in on him. Looked at him like fresh meat.” My eyes welled. “My sweet little boy.”
I felt the tear streak down my cheek. I caught it with the heel of my hand, as if I could stop the memory from happening.
Sam had leaned toward me, but he looked so conflicted, like he didn’t know what he wanted me to do. Or like he didn’t know what Iwantedhim to do.
I didn’t either.
So I kept going. “These kids had this initiation ritual where they physically attacked new members. They told Tommy to meet them in this industrial area with no one around, in the middle of the night. He told me later he thought they’d just sent him to this lonely, scary neighborhood at night. Like the initiation was just to show up, because when he got there, he was alone.” I pressed a flat hand to my mouth, then let go. “He shouldn’t have gone, of course. But he did, because he was just happy to be included in something. Isn’t that fucked up? But he wasn’t alone, of course. They were hiding. And after they’d made him wait, they came out of nowhere.”
Sam reached for me then. No more hesitation. He took my hand and gathered it into both of his, leaning in close as he tucked my hand under his chin.
I remembered the cops’ words.It’s pretty brutal, ma’am.
“He hit his head on a curb and passed out,” I said. “Ironically, they think the concussion saved him from worse injuries, because after that, they all ran. There was a lot of blood, apparently.”
“Theylefthim?” Sam was incredulous. He sat back, but didn’t release my hand. “Who were these kids?”
“That’s the thing.” I scoffed, pressing the heels of my palm of my free hand under my eyes, wiping away the tears. “They were all rich kids. Spoiled brats thinking they were doing something revolutionary.”
“Ellie, I’m so sorry,” Sam said.
I nodded. “Yeah well, that’s why we left. As soon as he was better. We went to my mom’s for a couple months until our place sold. I bought a camper, put all our stuff in it, and moved us out to the flower farm. She took care of us. Saved our lives, honestly.” I swallowed. “Along with the therapy both Tommy and I went to. I wish she was here now.” My voice cracked. But I couldn’t dwell on that thought or I’d lose it again. “When I was deciding where to go, I remembered Sarah had asked me if I wanted to join Heartbreaker. But Vermont was so far. Mom wanted me to move close to her.”
Sam had shifted my hand so it was upside down, and he was pressing gently on all the tender parts, massaging my sore spots like he knew exactly where they were. I’d never told him. “So…why did you move here then, Ellie?”
His voice was curious. He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t.
“Because of you, Sam.”
Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, his hands going still on mine. “What?”
“That night, you told me about this sweet little town you came from. You said it was safe and quiet and a great place to have grown up. You told me about the river and the way the trees looked so bright and green when the leaves started coming out in the spring.” My gaze shifted out past thebalcony, to where I could see the top of one of the oaks lining our street against the nearly dark sky.
“Also Sarah was here, and she told me her sister Kit had moved here too. We were already friends. But you’re a big part of why we’re here, Sam. So, thank you.”
I never thought he’d be here, of course. It made me a little ill when I used to think about it, but now I couldn’t imagine being in Quince Valley without him.
“Well, you’re welcome,” Sam said.
I laughed. That felt so good, I laughed again, and when I stopped, Sam was staring at me with such wonder, my chest seemed to melt.
I closed my eyes, imagining what would happen if I crawled into his lap right now. Asked him to hold me.
“Sam,” I said, still not opening my eyes. “Do you think you could stay here tonight?”
Sam didn’t say anything. He was still cupping the back of my hand with both of his, but he didn’t move.
I blinked my eyes open. “I just mean… I’m worried about Tommy trying to leave. If he does, I’ll need to deal with him, and there’s Henry and?—”
“Of course, Ellie,” Sam said. “Of course I can stay. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
After some debate about the best set-up, somehow we ended up with Sam sleeping on the couch with both the baby and front door monitors next to him, volumes high. I was going to sleep downstairs with my door open.
“This still doesn’t seem fair,” I said.
