ROSE
"What?"
Take care of everything?
What does that even mean?
I gaze up into Kon's gorgeous dark eyes, and my heart breaks from the pain and restraint I see in them.
He's holding himself back, that much is clear, but despite every piece of him that I've chipped away with my truth, he still holds me with care and kisses me with affection.
I don't deserve it. Not after everything I've done.
"Kon, what do you mean?"
Kon stares down at me for a long second, then he twists himself and glances back at Calvin. "Calvin, can you finish the soup? I was making it for Beatie and Rose. I do not know if it will help but I thought it would be a start."
Calvin's brow twists with a look of confusion that matches the weight growing in my chest. Then he speaks. "Sure. I can do that."
"Thank you." Kon turns back to me and once again, fleetingly kisses my forehead. Then he's gone and I'm left with the air around me still warm from his presence.
My eyes lock with Calvin's. "What does he mean?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "Take care of everything? What does he mean?" The pressure in my chest rises and I'm rooted to the spot, unsure if the weight behind my eyes will turn into laughter or sobbing.
"I don't know," Calvin admits. "I've… never seen him like that before." He lifts one hand and rubs at his jaw. "I thought he was going to explode. I honestly thought he was going to kill someone but he…" Calvin frowns deeply. "Why didn't you tell him about the baby?"
My lips part but words don't come. All I can do is stare at him. I look down as both hands rest against my abdomen. "I wanted to. I did. But I got so scared that he would tell me to get rid of it out of anger, or he would be accepting and only put up with me because of it. When he stood there and asked me if it was real, it felt like I would be tricking him if I told him I was pregnant."
"But it's the truth." Calvin starts forward toward me. "Rose, you are pregnant."
"I know. And it's something he wants. Can you honestly tell me…" I lift my gaze to meet his as he stops in front of me. "If you were in his position and I just told you that the start of our relationship was a ploy to harm and dethrone you, would youtruly believe I loved you if I then threw at you the one thing that you quietly desired?"
"Yes," Calvin replies immediately but then he sucks in air through his teeth and sighs. "No. I don't know. I can't fathom how I would act because this is… insane."
"Exactly," I whisper. "And I don't want him to feel like I'm tricking him again. If he was going to hate me, I wanted him to show it. I wanted him to be free to tell me how much I've hurt him without worrying about a baby but then he just…" I turn and stare at the empty doorway. "Why was he so calm?"
"I don't think he was calm." Calvin sighs deeply. "I think he was… contained. Kon is calculated, you know that. When it comes to people he cares about, he deals very swiftly with those who have hurt or threatened them. Look at the Italians. He killed them because their leader threatened you."
I glance back at him. "What? I didn't know that?"
"Ethan told me. That's why their deal didn't even happen. Kon was going to milk them dry, but they threatened you and so he killed them. Of course, then he got the call that you'd been attacked and…" Calvin puffs his cheeks. "Fuck. Everything is so fucked up."
I nod slowly. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how I got here."
"Not my choice," Calvin murmurs. "I need to call Ethan. And make soup."
"It's okay, I'm not hungry."
Calvin catches my elbow before I have a chance to move away. "You need to eat. If not for you, then for the baby."
"If I say no?"
Calvin winces. "Please don't make me feel like I'm forcing you into something," he murmurs. "Not after…"
"Not after what those brothers did?" I sigh weakly and move to one of the chairs near the island counter, perching myself while Calvin returns to the soup. "I meant what I said. It was horrible but being with Kon? Around him and with him? It made me feel so safe. The only nights I dreamed about them were the nights he wasn't there. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me because of how unaffected I felt. Then I realized it was Kon. He made me feel safe deep in my soul and I didn't realize it."
"There is nothing wrong with you," Calvin assures me. "How you were dealing—or not dealing—with what they put you through? Everyone is different. And I'm no psychologist, but your fight or flight has surely been running at high speed ever since you were snatched. Your trauma response might come later when things calm down."
The knot in my gut tightens. "You think we'll be okay? That Kon won't cast me out?"
