I looked at my children. At this strange, beautiful life slowly rebuilding itself around grief instead of inside it.
“She was.” Then, before I could stop myself, I looked at Winnie and added, “You are too.”
18
CONRAD
Mother’s Day arrived bright and warm and painfully beautiful. The pleasant weather seemed rude somehow. It should have had the decency to rain.
Instead, sunlight spilled through the kitchen windows while Billie argued with Senator Crunch, and CJ tried to convince Bianca that tulips were part of a government conspiracy.
“They close at night,” CJ said seriously around a mouthful of bacon. “You know what else closes at night? Military installations.”
Bianca didn’t even look up from her tea. “You once got your finger stuck in a shampoo bottle.”
“That’s unrelated.”
“It speaks to credibility.”
I stood at the stove, pretending to focus on my coffee, when I was really watching Winnie smile. She’d come over early even though it was Sunday. She technically had the day off, but she’d insisted on joining us for the special celebration of Jade.
She’d dressed lighter than usual for the weather, though still entirely in black. Long flowing skirt. Sleeves thin enough for spring. I’d caught myself staring at her twice already that morning and had immediately redirected my attention toward safer subjects. Like taxes. Or electrical fires. Anything less stimulating than the memory of her groan as I slid my finger inside of her.
We’d talked long after the kids went to bed on Friday night, attempting to plan the perfect day for the kids. And we were keeping the activities a secret. The anticipation was killing me.
The kids were suspicious from the moment they came downstairs.
“You’re being weird,” Bianca informed me.
“I’m literally pouring coffee.”
“You’re doing it secretively.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“It is today,” CJ muttered.
Billie narrowed her eyes at Winnie. “You’re dressed like a fancy crow.”
“Thank you.”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“I chose to receive it as one.”
I cleared my throat. “Finish breakfast. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”
“Where are we going?” CJ asked immediately.
“It’s a surprise.”
“That means cemetery or enrichment activity.”
I scoffed. “Those are not the only two categories for surprises.”
Bianca pointed with her fork. “Last time you said surprise we ended up at a taxidermy museum.”
“And you loved every second of it.”
