The offering of the gift of that kind of love would take the courage that the slaying of a fairy-tale dragon had symbolised for Tilly.
It didn’t even need the words of love to be a risk she couldn’t take. If she sent the first message, she’d never know if he felt anything like the same need for the connection she was missing so desperately, or whether he was simply echoing her to be kind.
To play the part.
Tilly knew that, one of these days, she would have to let go of that fairy tale. Her closest friend had been gently nudging her towards accepting reality for a long time.
‘You expect perfection, Tilly, but it doesn’t exist. True love can be a messy, unromantic rollercoaster but you know what? If there were no storms, who would really appreciate a beautiful day?’
She knew that.
She’d always known that.
But, in a secret corner of her heart, she still believed in magic too.
* * *
The ring that Moira had on her left hand was the first thing Angus noticed when he walked into his office.
‘Oh, my God, Moira. Are youengaged?’
‘I am indeed. And I’m so happy.’ She held her hand out to admire the subtle sparkle of a small classic solitaire diamond on a plain gold band. ‘This was Douglas’s grandmother’s ring. Isn’t it gorgeous?’
Angus could see that the ring he’d chosen would have been completely wrong. Had Tilly really thought it was the most beautiful ring ever?
‘But you’ve only known him for five minutes.’ Angus could hear the doubt in his voice. ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’
Moira just smiled. ‘You’ll find out one day. When you know, you know.’
‘Buthowdo you know?’ Angus was genuinely curious.
He was also deeply envious of the certainty in Moira’s voice.
The ghost of her time with him as a potential husband-to-be was nowhere to be seen, or even felt. By either of them, it seemed. Apparently there was more truth to be acknowledged than how he felt about Tilly. If Angus had had anything more than a friendly affection for Moira, surely he should be experiencing regret right now? Loss? A jealously directed at Douglas, even?
He wasn’t feeling any of those things.
What he was feeling was a bone-deep, painful yearning. For Tilly.
He swallowed. Hard.
‘How can you be so sure it’s not going to fall apart just as fast?’
‘You can’t.’ But Moira was still smiling. ‘You just have to believe that it will be forever.’
Angus was staring at Moira but he was still thinking of Tilly. Still missing her so much his heart was aching. What was it she’d said like that? Oddly, the French words were the first he remembered.
Un acte de foi.
And then he remembered her translation being ‘a jump of faith’ and he could feel a corner of his mouth lifting as Moira continued talking.
‘We all know we’re going to die one day, Angus. Hopefully it will be when we’re ninety-nine years old but you never know, do you?’
‘Probably just as well.’
‘Precisely. You can’t live life thinking about it, either, because you’re not really living, are you?’ She didn’t give Angus a chance to answer the question. ‘No. What you’re doing is dying very, very slowly. Inch by inch.’
Angus was still staring.
