She shakes her blonde hair. ‘It’s all meaningless. They’re just trolls.’
She’s not mad at me. This isn’t the end of a decade of friendship. I could cry all over again but manage to hold it in. The only constants through everything were these two. I’ve never loved a man like I love Minnie and Ash, though someone (who’s been out so long I think he might be lost) is starting to make me rethink that.
‘Stop worrying about things that don’t matter, and start worrying about things that do,’ Ash says. ‘What are you going to do about your brand?’
I sink deeper into the sofa. ‘There’s nothing I can do. My brand was all about being who you are and true to yourself, and I wasn’t.’
‘Ash is setting you up,’ Minnie says in a bizarrely blasé way, and I feel like reminding her we’re talking about my career and future happiness here. ‘We’ve made you a plan.’
‘We’ve Jules Butler’d you,’ Ash chimes in with a mischievous grin. ‘There’s a PowerPoint and everything. I also drew up a mock NDA but Minnie made me leave it at home.’
I swivel my gaze between them. ‘What?’
‘We’ve emailed it to Nyla too,’ Minnie adds. ‘Poor girl needs some respite between all the fires she’s putting out.’
‘Make me feel worse why don’t you,’ I mutter.
‘Give her credit Jules, she’s excellent at what she does,’ says Minnie. ‘You need to get more comfortable withdelegating.’
‘Enough chat.’ Ash flings a finger in the air. ‘To the study!’
Tiago has made it back, brought up drinks and snuck out by the time they’re ready to go. Ash insisted on closing the blinds like we do for Reveal Day, under the guise of there never being another one, and passed me a handout.
‘We did a little research and this is what we found,’ Minnie begins, and a slide comes up filled with charts, word clouds, and screenshots of Instagram comments. It’s very impressive but I’m not surprised – we’re all excruciatingly Type A. I blame ourgirls’ school. ‘We grouped your followers into three camps: the Disillusioned, the Cynical, and the Loyal. The Disillusioned are the most likely to unfollow. They’re hurt by this, they thought you were “real”, etc. They can get fucked.
‘The Cynical say things like, “Obviously influencers curate” and “I don’t get why everyone’s so shocked”, and the Loyal stand up for you and comment things like, “She never claimed to be transparent about her love life”. These two groups matter.’
‘We looked to similar PR crises to help inform our strategy,’ says Ash like she’s addressing court. ‘Predominantly, the defendant uses YouTube Live questions.’ I internally cringe at the idea. ‘They feel honest, they’re reactive, they receive good engagement – but they’re not for us. They’re too uncontrolled which is not what you need right now – we don’t want you spiralling like you did after Damian. Plus, publicists mainly use it when defendants want redemption. You don’t want redemption: you want strategic survival.’
She volleys it back to Minnie. ‘Believe it or not, you’re in a good place. Your silence is starving the men of oxygen. You’re letting the pile-on peak and, crucially, you’re not rising to anything. But that can’t last forever. Your loyalists are desperate for your side, so we do it cleanly and controlled.
‘We recommend you release a pre-recorded video. Not too long, and not defensive. No names, no crying, no theatrics like stupid Logan. Then it’s business as normal. Release content, record podcasts, announce Evie & Co’s spring collection. Engagement will stabilise and the narrative will move on.’
‘Maybe your followers came for the WAG, but they stayed for you,’ says Ash, coming to sit beside me. ‘Your perspective means something to people, and that doesn’t change because an ex slandered you in public. Whose hasn’t?’
My bottom lip trembles. ‘You guys.’ I rub my watery eyes. ‘You did Jules Butler me.’
They laugh, and we’re suddenly a mess of arms and hair.
‘Everyone needs a Jules Butler sometimes, even you,’ Minnie says softly.
Chapter 46
JULES
Two hours later, I’m in my bedroom exactly like I am for most of my home content. My tripod’s set up, my background’s neutral, and I look clean and presentable. Tiago, Minnie and Ash are waiting downstairs – I need space. This is content like any other, an unboxing or a GRWM. I’m me, and I won’t apologise for it.
I press play.
‘Hi.’ Weak. Boring. Urgh, never mind. Onwards. ‘If you’ve followed me for a long time, you know my work has always been about growth — physical, mental, professional. Becoming the best version of yourself. That hasn’t changed.
‘What has changed is parts of my private life have been pulled into the public in a way I didn’t consent to. I want to be very clear about something: I’ve never lied to you. I’ve shared what I felt was relevant, and I’ve kept parts of my life private — especially my romantic life. It wasn’t deception, it was a boundary.
‘Some people have suggested that because I didn’t share everything, nothing I’ve said is true. I disagree. Do you know everything about your best friend? Your neighbour? Your boss? I’ve been vulnerable where I felt it necessary. I did a four-partseries on grief where I shared very personal details about my mum dying. I’ve spoken openly about my struggles with anxiety and control. I did a whole episode on abusive relationships. The examples I used were real life, taken from my own experiences.
‘But my relationships aren’t case studies. It’s an area of my life I choose not to share in detail for my own mental health. When you build a public life alongside very public people, speculation becomes part of the environment. In hindsight, I can see that I didn’t always draw clear enough lines early. That’s on me.
‘Going forward, my work stays the same, my values stay the same, and my boundaries stay in place. I understand if some people feel disappointed. I can hold space for that. You’re entitled to your opinion, just as I am. If that means some people choose to leave, I respect that. If it means others stay, I’m grateful.
