I click onto the next slide, revealing his photo, stats, and highlights. Best to be quick with it, like a plaster.
‘Tom Webber?Tom Webber?’ Minnie cries. ‘Your next target is Martinelli’snumber one driver?’
‘You two can be together all year!’ Ash exclaims, doing an excellent job of not reading the room.
I perch on the armchair beside Minnie. ‘I won’t get in the way of your fab presenting. I might need the occasional paddock pass, but I promise to steer clear of you. Sponsorships will help?—’
‘I’m not worried about that.’ Minnie takes her time putting her half-eaten cupcake on the coffee table beside her. ‘I’m just… surprised. Why F1?’
‘I’m glad you asked.’ I click to the next slide teeming with charts and graphs. ‘It’s the fastest-growing sport with ninety million new fans last year alone – particularly in Australasia and Asia. And, most importantly, 41% of its fan base are Gen Z and millennial women – my target audience.’
‘But the men are short,’ Minnie counters.
Ash recoils like Minnie said they were serial killers.
‘Tom’s five foot ten,’ I fire back.
Minnie sighs, tempering. ‘Ok, give it to me. Why Tom?’
‘Because he’sfit,’ Ash proclaims as we return to Tom’s slide, twirling a black curl around her finger. ‘Though he really loves cargo shorts, doesn’t he?’
‘I don’t even think he has social media,’ Minnie says. ‘Isn’t that the whole point of this?’
It matters, of course, but unlike other sports, there are only twenty athletes to choose from and most don’t fit the bill. I had to prioritise. Besides, Tom has millions of mentions and hashtags, impressive Reddit threads and Google Trends rates, not to mention ample exposure on Martinelli’s channels with reams of positive comments underneath. I’ve never datedsomeone without their own social media before. Look at me, I’m branching out.
‘He doesn’t,’ I yield, ‘but he’s the only driver who meets the rest of my criteria.’
Ash wiggles her eyebrows. ‘Oo,criteria. Sexy.’
I count them off on my fingers: ‘He’s a former World Champion and looking to be one again.’
‘Not if Mins’ boyfriend can help it.’ Ash nudges her and she gives in with a small chuckle.
‘He’s a man close to the top of his game who needs my help to unlock that extra 5%. Martinelli are the second best team on the grid behind Pagari, and Pagari are obviously out – one of their drivers is taken by Miss Minnie, and the other one’s nineteen.’
Minnie shakes her luscious blonde hair. ‘You’d terrify Eilo. He can barely speak to girls as it is.’
‘Outside of racing,’ I continue, ‘Tom’s single, pretty clean cut – though he could do with a fashion upgrade – and has huge global sponsors.’
Ash tongues the back of her teeth. ‘If your exes are anything to go by, he also needs to be a dick. He doesn’t exactly scream man whore like Brennan, or ogre like Damian. I’m seeing kind eyes.’
Her casual mention of Damian makes me flinch.
‘Trust me, Ash, all top sportsmen are dicks,’ I assure her. ‘They’re completely self-obsessed. Everyone around them treats them like kings so very soon they start believing it.’
‘Don’t be fooled by Tom,’ Minnie agrees. ‘He’s the reason Ackland dropped from first to fifth in the space of two years. The story goes that when he drove for them, he was so difficult that half the team quit, and he was fired super late into the season. He left them in such a spin they couldn’t recover. They still haven’t almost four years on.’
‘That’s awful,’ Ash breathes. ‘I take back what I said. Use away, Julesy!’
‘I’m notusing,’ I mumble, ‘there’s mutual benefit.’
‘Where’s he from?’ she asks.
‘I’m glad you asked.’ I speedily advance a couple of slides before Minnie can spoil it.
‘A koala!’ Ash sings and peers curiously into her cup. ‘That explains the eucalyptus tea.’
I’ve dated a German, two British, one Nigerian, and an American. There’s a whole continent I haven’t tapped into yet. Australia boasts five million women in my target demographic, if the last census is to be believed. Yes, I’m thorough.
