The sooner he returned to Wolfingham Park, the better.
Even more importantly, he needed to take himself back to London and deal with the situation of the kidnapping of Masterson’s sister.
The same kidnappers who still believed Nicholas would be brought to them as a prisoner.
Julia had made her position very clear, and much as it pained Nicholas, he knew there was nothing he could say or do in this moment that would change her mind.
* * *
The tears began to fall hotly down Julia’s cheeks before she even had time to register their existence.She had not expected Nicholas to respond quite so…harshly after she had voiced her uncertainty about their future.
Then what had she expected?She instantly rebuked herself.
That Nicholas would listen to her babbling on about Freddie’s ghost standing between them for evermore and afterward still expect him to try to persuade her into marrying him?
If she had thought that, then she was not only a fool, but she did not appreciate the man whom she now knew Nicholas to truly be.Primarily, but in secret, he was a hero.One who publicly posed as a womanizer and a rake but in private had claimed to remain true to her since her sixteenth birthday.
She had never known Nicholas to tell lies in the past, which meant she had to believe him now when he said that he had not touched another woman in the last three years.
Then why hadsherefused him so decisively and used Freddie to do so?
Because her stupid romantic heart had wanted Nicholas to fight for her, even against the ghost of his brother!
She was a fool.A silly little fool who had pushed away the only man she had ever?—
Ever what?
The answer to that was easily found.Nicholas was the only man she had ever loved in a romantic way.And she did love him; that much had become clear to her the previous night when they had kissed and made love.
What she had also realized during the night was that she might not always have loved Nicholas, but she had always been attracted to him.That being rude and insulting about and to him had been her way of preventing anyone else from realizing how attracted she was to him.
Then what was she going to do about it?
Whatcouldshe do about it?
Nicholas had left after declaring it was his intention to return to London as soon as possible.
Her heart truly felt as if it were breaking, having cleaved apart in her chest, leaving a cavernous ache of longing that she?—
“Julia?”
She stiffened and then stilled at the sound of Amanda’s voice, quickly wiping the evidence of tears from her cheeks before turning to face her cousin.
“Oh, my dear.”Amanda’s instant concern in her voice and expression told Julia that she had not done a satisfactory job of hiding how upset she was.“I have been looking for you everywhere.”Amanda came farther into the room to clasp both of Julia’s hands in her own.“The last place I thought to find you, and therefore looked, was the guest bedchamber used by the Earl of Wolfingham after he had been rescued.I saw Wolfingham taking his leave of our mothers just a few minutes ago and, having looked for you everywhere else, I came up to this bedchamber as a last resort.I certainly did not expect you to actually be here.”
Amanda’s puzzlement was perfectly understandable when, to her knowledge, Julia and the earl had barely been on speaking terms the last time she had seen them together.
So much had happened in the hours since.
Julia drew in a determined breath.“Tell me truthfully, Amanda, have I always been willfully stupid, or is this a new low for me?”
Her cousin eyed her warily.“Is this a trick question?”
She smiled wryly.“It is not.”
Amanda grimaced for several seconds.“Well, you are most certainly willful.We both are.But I would not have said you are stupid.”
“Perhaps I should have phrased it as being stupidly willful rather than willfully stupid?”
