I need Mateo to tell me what the fuck I should do. It’s like my chest is cracking open at the thought of letting go of Sofía.
It’s been awkward all morning. We returned from our tour, and she was quiet as she finished packing her clothes. She slipped into bed beside me, leaving a gap between us on the mattress. It felt like a valley, filled with everything I want to say but don’t know how.
Mateo finally answers the call.
“Hey, man, what’s going on?” His words drip with happiness. Glad one of us isn’t in the midst of a major emotional crisis. “I figured you would be on the plane already.”
I skip straight to the point. “I think I’m going to get my heart broken.”
There’s the truth of it.
I’ve fallen, and the pavement gets closer and closer, and there’s no way to stop as I pick up speed. I’ve tried to understand where Sofía stands, to uncover whether there’s any chance for something more, but time’s running out, and I still don’t know.
I don’t want to make a move unless I’m sure. I won’t do that to her, won’t put her in that position. And I refuse to let her shoulder my emotions, to handle them the way she’s been forced to handle everyone else’s in her life.
“What? Heartbroken by who? Did you meet someone after we left?”
“Love is super dope until it crushes you,” I admit, pausing my pacing to smile and wave at a fan who clearly recognizes me. I gesture at my phone, and he sheepishly keeps moving.
Any other day, I would stop and chat, but I am in a crisis. I’ve found the love I want, what I thought I wouldn’t find after Grace, and I don’t want to have to find it again, only for it to never live up to this.
“What are you talking about?”
“Can you keep a secret?”
“I swear on the Brotherhood. I won’t even tell Charlie.” A rustle sounds, then quietly, he asks, “Are you okay?”
Molly gestures to the coffee shop near our gate, a silent question. I nod, and she heads to the counter, ordering food for us all before the long flight. I return to the matter at hand: I need Mateo to give me advice, because I think I’m ready to implode or do something insane, like tell her I’ve fallen in love with her.
“I’ve been sleeping with Sofía.”
He doesn’t need to know about the whole love thing yet. We’ll get there. Baby steps.
Dead silence rings on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry, I must have heard you wrong.”
“Oh, was I too quiet? Sofía and I are sleeping together.” I raise the speaker to my mouth in case.
“Nope. I heard you loud and clear. So the kiss we saw wasn’t a weird fever dream I convinced myself we had. Cool. All right. I’m gonna follow that up with,what the fuck have you been doing in Australia?”
I scratch the back of my neck, self-conscious. It didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. She kissed me first, so if anything, she started this. I merely took it to the next level.
“Well, we got to participate in an Aboriginal ceremony, which was incredible. I’ll have to send you the video later. They have—”
“Jett.”
I sigh.
“Sofía and I have been…”
“Oh, Dios.What did you two do?”
“You know…things.It started as a PR relationship to build buzz for my release—”
“A fake relationship? Are you two—”
I barrel over him, the floodgates flinging wide open. “She told me to fire her so I could kiss her, and then she had this seashell pouch—that’s not important to the story. The plan was we could do whatever we wanted while we were in Australia, and it would end once we’re back in LA.”There’s a heavy amount of breathingon the line. I think I broke him. This is bad. “Forget keeping a secret, I want Blondie,” I yell. “She’ll know how to fix this.”
“Fix what?” he asks.
