“Do you love him?” my mom asks, her voice low so the girls don’t hear.
They’re too busy singing along to the song to bother with our conversation. A wild blush creeps along my cheeks, so bright it could be seen from the stars.
He should be the first one to know, but I can’t help myself, itching to say the words out loud. To make them real. Manifest this alternate reality. One where I’m in love with Jett, and he gives me a chance to explain why I panicked. A life where we get to laugh every day.
“More than I thought was possible,” I tell her. “I don’t even know when it happened. He made it that easy.”
Her laughter is soft, comforting. “Your father did the same thing to me. I can’t wait to meet him,” she says, patting my knee.
Our car ride to Jett’s house is filled with off-tune karaoke and my sisters teasing me about needing our mom to take me to my boyfriend’s house. It’s embarrassing and wonderful, and by the time we pull into his driveway, a wave of calm washes over me.
This is where I’m meant to be. The horrible relationship with Tommy, the shitty dates with mediocre men, it was all part of the path to get to him. I don’t know if I ever would haveseenhim if I hadn’t had those experiences.
I’m kicked out of the car, a chorus of “good lucks” and “make sure you kiss him” following me up the driveway to the front door. I smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in my dress, brush through my curls, and suck away any potential lipstick on my teeth.
A nervous tremor kick-starts in my hands as I lift a fist to knock. After a minute, there’s no answer.
I knock again.
And again.
And again.
I stand on the porch for ten minutes in disbelief. His car is in the driveway. A light shines in the hallway when I peek through the window. The grass looks freshly cut.
The car door slamming shut is the only sound I hear outside of the pulsing in my ears. A hand lands on my shoulder, and Luisa and Maria track me, worried and sympathetic, as Mom guides me back into the car.
My cheeks are wet.
I didn’t even realize I’d started to cry.
We make it all the way back to my apartment before I fully comprehend this new reality.
I had my shot with him, and I blew it.
Chapter 30
jett
“How’s it going in here?” Amy asks. “Getting a lot of work done?”
I grumble, rolling over on the worn-down loveseat, covering my head with a blanket.
If by work she means rewatching the same clip of Sofía laughing for the last half hour, then yes. I have been incredibly productive.
Otherwise, my time has been spent preventing Mateo from getting work done, eating cold leftover pizza, and bringing down the overall vibe.
Charlie peels the blanket off my head, quirking a brow. She tosses a piece of chocolate into my little burrow and then retreats to stand beside Amy in the kitchen.
“I wrote the methods for a chapter of my thesis,” Mateo says. “Jett obsessively rewatched the same videos for thirty minutes. So one of us got work done.”
I shove my best friend with my foot, and he responds with a deep, hearty laugh.
“That was our little secret.” I sigh.
“You’re heartbroken, it’s not a secret,” Mateo replies. “Every person in this apartment knows. You’ve been sulking on our couch all week.”
“I haven’t been sulking.”
