“Uh, yes you have,” Charlie says. “All mopey and sad that it didn’t work out with Sofía. Won’t talk about what went wrong or how it even started. Rewatching the same videos of her obsessively. I would call that the definition of sulking.”
The girls exchange a glance—doing that annoying silent conversation thing that irritates Mateo—and Amy nods, dropping her phone on the counter and flopping onto the seat beside me.
The pounding in my ears begins.
As far as hosts go, Amy, Charlie, and Mateo have played the role spectacularly. For the most part, they’ve let me mope. No one has touched the Sofía-shaped elephant in the room, which I’m grateful for, but I fear the generosity has expired.
I don’t know how to talk about it yet—not when the rejection is so fresh.
“Jett Pack,” Amy says. “Can I ask you a question?”
Uh-oh.
I remember Charlie complaining about how perceptive Amy can be with emotions.
This might be my firsthand experience with the “cut to the emotional chase” version of her.
I look to Mateo for help, pleading with my eyes, but he shrugs and mouths,You’re on your own.
With the patience of a saint, Amy waits, playing with the fringe on the old blanket.
There’s no way out but through—at least that’s what the motivational quote on the wall of Charlie and Mateo’s office says. As someone nursing a heartbreak, I think that’s a whole bunch of malarkey.
Finally, I nod, and Amy asks, “Do you think you can move on?”
The answer comes immediately: no.
At least not completely. Distance and time will make it easier. It’s why I fled to Rhode Island.
A long, heavy silence passes until I finally find the words to explain what rips through my chest at the thought of her.
“You don’t get over a love like this. She’s the end of my road, Ames. She wasitfor me.” The room grows fuzzy as my eyes mist. “I don’t think I can. I’ll learn to live with it—to exist beside her—but no, I don’t think I’ll evermove on.”
A sniffle sounds through the room, and through my tears, Charlie wipes her eyes. “You could tell her,” she presses. “You never know what could happen. You like the girl, you tell the girl. That’s what a wise man once told Mateo. Look how well that worked for him. He’sobsessedwith me.”
The man of topic moves through a blurry view, sweeping Charlie into a kiss. He rumbles something in her ear.
“Don’t worry about it,” she hisses. “It’s for me to know and for you to pretend you don’t know anything about it.”
“Are you pulling a Cheryl and Dan right now?” Mateo asks.
Amy stiffens beside me, her eyebrow piercing twitching.
“I don’t know what that means,” I mumble.
“They’re weird,” she blurts, snapping her fingers to gather their attention. They blanch but stop whispering. “Jett was trying to tell us how he feels. Be good friends andlisten to him.”
I offer Amy a pathetic half smile.
“It was simple for you two,” I explain. “The feelings were there. Mateo only needed a two-handed shove. It doesn’t work if there’s nothing on the other side to catch you.”
An uncomfortable silence fills the room. Charlie focuses on her phone, Mateo finds the countertop interesting, and Amy drops her head on my shoulder. Voicing my reality is like enduring the shallow slice of the blade over and over.
Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her. She didn’t. It’s as simple as that.
Fuck, I’ve never felt so stupid in my life.
The whole thing was a terrible idea, though I don’t regret a single moment.
