Frustrated, he slammed his hand against the side of his carriage, relishing the sharp pain. He’d laid his heart bare tonight, once again thinking that it would be enough. But it wasn’t. He’d hurt her too badly.
And she’d brought up Ethan.... It seemed too much of a coincidence that both she and Harding had urged him to mend things with his brother.
His mistakes were catching up to him. He only hoped he had the strength to prove his love to those who mattered most.
Chapter Six
Julian rode up to SherbourneHall two days before Michael and Emma’s wedding. He was pleased to find Michael’s brother, Dylan, and his new wife, Natalia, had already arrived. He spent a few minutes chatting with his old friend, who seemed uncommonly distracted, but before he could ask Dylan what was wrong, Emma’s retinue came up the long drive, and the moment was lost.
He watched from the front steps at Michael went out to greet his future bride, noticing that things still seemed tense between them. He hoped that they managed to find some happiness together, but this certainly wasn’t an auspicious beginning. Emma had been forced to lower her expectations time and again, giving up everything she’d wanted her wedding to be and accepting this rushed affair simply so Michael could get his hands on her dowry as soon as possible. Julian knew his friend was under immense stress and strain, but he couldn’t help but feel that he ought to be trying a little harder to woo his lovely fiancée.
Jane and Emma’s father, Black Jack Marks, the American industrialist, followed the couple into the castle, and everyone chatted for a while before the new arrivals all went to rest and clean up before dinner. Julian tried repeatedly to get Jane’s attention, but she seemed determined to ignore him, and there wasn’t much he could do without making a spectacle of himself.
Later that evening, Julian found himself seated next to Jane at the dining room table, which wasn’t surprising, since they were the odd ones out. “How are you?” he asked softly when he sat down beside her, glad to finally have her to himself at least somewhat.
“It was a long trip,” she replied remotely. “I’m still feeling a bit tired.”
“I hate traveling by coach,” he agreed. “I’d much prefer to ride.”
Jane sighed. “Well, women don’t have that luxury.”
He frowned, knowing she was right. “You’re a wonderful rider,” he said, remembering carefree summer days when the two of them had ridden through the woods that crisscrossed their families’ estates. “Do you find the opportunity to do so in the city?”
She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. “No, I’m afraid not. I only own two carriage horses, neither of which is a very good mount.”
He found that incredibly sad. “Well, I own a lovely bay mare you’d probably love. Perhaps once we return to London, we can go for a ride through the park.”
Eagerness flickered in her eyes for just a moment before she ruthlessly banked it. “Do you really think there’s a need for us to continue to see each other, once the wedding is over?”
Feeling as though he’d been punched in the gut, he sank back into his chair. “Need? Perhaps not. But I’dliketo continue to see you, Jane. How am I supposed to prove myself to you, if you don’t give me the opportunity?”
She sighed, pressing her hand to her temple as though she suffered a megrim. “I’m sorry. That was unnecessarily rude of me. I just keep thinking that this has all been a lark for you, that you’ll lose interest once we’re not forced into close proximity.”
Though he knew she had every reason to think poorly of him, he still felt stung by her lack of faith. Since he’d told her he wanted to court her, she’d given him very little reason to believe that was what she wanted. He very greatly feared that once Michael and Emma were wed, they would indeed drift apart again.
“What must I do?” he asked her once again. “I truly do want to prove myself to you.”
