“Yes,” she breathed, determined to push all the rest of it out of her mind for the moment. “Kiss me, Morgan.”
His eyes flared, and then she was in his arms, his big solid body anchoring her, so warm and comforting as his mouth descended upon hers in the sweetest of kisses. For endless moments, they explored each other’s mouths with tenderness and restraint, but then, the passion intensified. She clung to him as the world swirled around her, and she became completely lost in the taste and feel of him.
When his fingertips strayed to the bodice of her gown, she did not stop him, and when he slid his hand inside and cupped her bare breast, she moaned into his mouth, shocked by how good it felt.
He broke the kiss and trailed his mouth down her jaw and throat, until his lips latched around her nipple, licking and kissing her tender flesh while her hands buried in his dark silky hair, anchoring him in place.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, looking up at her, his eyes hazy with desire. “I want you so much.”
A sound in the hallway outside the slightly cracked door made her jump away, and the reality of their situation crashed back down upon her. “Your family is just down the hall,” she whispered, trying to right her clothes. “The last thing I want is for them to walk in on us like this.”
He brushed her hands away and calmly tucked her back in her dress. “I wasn’t planning to take you here on the sofa at a dinner party,” he murmured. “I’m sorry the kiss got out of hand, but I meant it when I told you that my intentions are completely honorable.”
She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to get her breathing back under control. “I just... I don’t want anyone to think that I’m...” She halted, the hateful words echoing in her head.Whore. Prostitute. Floozy.
She had been all of those things. And in most people’s eyes, that’s all she ever would be. It didn’t matter how many children she saved or how well she managed Brookhaven. To the rarified society to which he belonged, she’d never be anything more than the titles assigned to her the day her father had sold her innocence to the bastard who’d taken it.
Her eyes flooded once again with tears, and she swatted them angrily away. She’d become a complete watering pot lately.
However much she wished to keep her secrets, she could never marry him without telling him the truth of her past. She was no blushing bride. There was no way she could ever pretend that she was.
And quite honestly... she wasn’t even sure that she was capable of letting a man touch her intimately. Not even Morgan.
It had been so long, but she couldn’t forget the pain and humiliation. She felt as though her relationship with Morgan was perfect the way it was, and she wasn’t at all certain she wanted to change that. She wanted him to remain her sweet friend who occasionally kissed her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, the care and concern in his eyes nearly her undoing. “No one is going to think anything. They all care about you, and they want only the best for us. I am sure all of them have sneaked away for a kiss at a dinner party before. The passion in their relationships is what I’ve most envied.”
She knew he was probably right, but she still felt shattered in some way, as if she was about to crumble into a million pieces. Maybe she did just need a little time to think about everything, to come to terms with the thought that he was actually interested in her. “I don’t know,” she whispered again. “I’m just overwhelmed.”
“As am I,” he admitted, pulling her back into his arms and hugging her tightly. “This thing between us is powerful. It’s also beautiful and right. Don’t you think?”
“I do,” she agreed. “But that’s what scares me the most. I never expected to have something like this. I don’t deserve you, Morgan. I don’t deserve this life. If you only knew half of what I’ve been, what I’ve done...”
He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes, and his own grew troubled, shadows she couldn’t imagine lurking behind them. “We all have demons inside of us, things we’re struggling to overcome.” He swallowed roughly, then shook his head. “I’m afraid there are things in my past that would horrify you, and I’m still trying to find the courage to tell you about my own... darkness.”
She leaned into his palm, closing her eyes as she tried to fathom what sort of pain caused that roughness in his voice. She knew his father had died when he was young, but she couldn’t imagine what other calamity had befallen him. It seemed to her that he had led a charmed life. He’d certainly never gone hungry or been so cold that his fingertips had turned blue.
But then she realized that just because he had not been poor did not mean that his life had been charmed. He’d had plenty of sorrow, had lost his father and his wife, apparently had a horrible relationship with his mother, and she had no right to judge him. She wished he’d tell her what he was talking about, but she didn’t want to push him. They’d had enough emotional upheaval for one night.
“You don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready,” she assured him.
She hugged him once again, trying to show him without words just how much he meant to her. Maybe they really could figure this all out. Maybe she could become a wife and mother, the way she’d always wanted to. The thought of having Samuel, Hannah, and Felicity as her very own made her heart fuller than she’d ever imagined it could be.
Finally, he pulled away with a rough laugh. “I suppose we should rejoin the others before they come looking for us.”
She nodded, even though all she really wanted was to stay in this room with him all night. Her heart was so soothed when he was with her. But she knew enough about proper society to realize it just wasn’t done to spend so much time alone together, even if his family was willing to look the other way just a little bit.
He helped her to her feet, then pulled her into his embrace once more, giving her another searing kiss. She melted into him, wishing his kiss could last forever.
At last, they broke apart, both breathing a bit heavily, and he laughed again. “Ah, darling, you’re going to be the death of me.”
She smiled shakily in return, still stunned that she had such an effect on him.
He took her hand and led her back to the room where his family was congregated. They all welcomed them back, and Vanessa and Serenity smiled as they took in her flushed face. Though she knew they’d never say anything, they obviously knew something physical had happened between them and were happy about it.
Even Allison, whom Fiona had thought to be quite obnoxious the last time they’d met, gave her a little smile and went out of her way to be kind.
The rest of the evening passed in a haze of laughter and camaraderie. Fiona couldn’t remember when she’d enjoyed a night more. They made her feel as though she belonged, and she’d been longing for that her entire life. The thought of becoming part of this family was extremely tempting. She could almost believe it would be worth the possibility of social ridicule to be a part of this forever.
