Page 108 of At His Beck & Call

“Because it’s crazy. You pay me for—” I stop, glancing back at the open door of Henry’s room, and shake my head. “I didn’t tell you about James so that you would help me. That’s not what I was trying to say at all. I was just… I don’t know… I felt as if we were on the same page somehow.”

“Do you honestly think I would ever believe you would try to manipulate me like that?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

“I know enough. You’re a good person, Lissa. I won’t watch you suffer and struggle when I have the means to help you. Set everything else aside—all that we’ve done together. This is separate. This is about justice, and you deserve it. More than any of the Carmen Reynoldses in the world. She’s a bitter, wealthy woman, scrapping it out for the last crumbs of her privilege. Andyou’re fighting for the very basis of your life. Let me help you. Please.”

“But… I could never repay you,” I say desperately.

I can’t fathom why he’s doing this for an escort he barely knows, but when I look up at him, finally, his eyes are determined as he puts his hands in his pockets.

“Do you think I would ever offer something that I didn’t want to do? You know my nature. I don’t agree to do things I don’t want to do. I can help with this, Lissa. I canwinfor you.”

The light of triumph is returning to his eyes now, and I get a thrill from seeing the same satisfaction in his expression that I have seen so many times in his office after hours. There’s obviously a part of him that really wants to help me.

Am I crazy for considering this?

I have two voices screaming at me in my head, fighting for dominance. One is Bethany’s, telling me never to be beholden to a man. If this relationship disintegrates, what’s to stop him from pulling the rug out from under me and not representing me?

The other is much louder. It’s a voice that I’ve been pushing to the base of my head for weeks now. It’s shouting, as if inside the darkest of tunnels, the echoes spiraling upward into my mind, unable to mask the truth any longer.

You are falling for this man, and you’re setting yourself up for the hardest fall of your life. You think he wants you? You? When he could have any woman in this city. Once he’s finished helping you, his obligation will be over, and he’ll drop you like a burning hot piece of coal. Don’t let anyone have this much power over you. Not again.

“Lissa, I’ll work this case pro bono and there’s no way he’ll get custody of Henry. You’ll have total control of your relationship with him moving forward.”

My hands twist in front of me, the ‘no’ rising again in my throat. But as I think of my son, of his brave little face, hisstrength against a wall of uncertainty and sickness, I know I can’t choose anything else.

I give a slow nod as a huge smile spreads over Oliver’s handsome face.

Henry is what matters. My life, my heart, will have to find a way to heal on its own.

Chapter 38

Oliver

I’m floating on a cloud as Lissa goes to Henry’s bedroom to check on him. Truman trots out from the living room to stand beside me.

My hands flex into a fist and back, the joy flowing through me, a new and unexpected feeling.

I’m gonna nail that fucker’s balls to the wall.

The visceral pleasure I feel at being able to get at James, to punch him where it hurts, is all-consuming. I could tell what he was from a mile away: a rich, entitled asshole who thinks he can treat people the way he wants because he has money.

Well, he’s about to learn all about the Oliver Heath School of Hard Knocks. I won’t let him hurt her. Ever again.

I stand beside Truman in the hallway, listening to Lissa’s quiet movements inside the room.

All of a sudden, my entire body goes still, a wave of unease seeping through me. Doors I believed were firmly closed have begun opening.

You’re an idiot to think this thing with Lissa will ever work.

I’ve lived my life alone. The only person I have ever been truly close to is my mother. I care a great deal about Adelaide, of course, but it’s a working relationship.

Lissa will never truly want me. Not in the way that I want her.

The parameters of how we met are so blurred and confusing that I don’t quite know how to define what we have. But I’m sure she doesn’t love me.

Who in the world would ever love me?