Page 21 of At His Beck & Call

“If he suggests something you don’t want to do, you walk away.”

How much does Beth actually know about Oliver Heath?

“I will.”

Once I am back at my desk, Adelaide doesn’t ask me what the call was about, and I don’t elaborate. I wonder whether she has any kids herself, but the waspish expression on her face doesn’t fill me with hope, so I get back to work.

The day goes slowly, and the filing becomes more tedious, but by 5 pm I’ve almost finished one folder and started on the next.

Adelaide doesn’t say much as she leaves, nodding to me and hooking her lilac bag over her shoulder.

How much purple clothing does the woman own?

I close the folder, glancing at the clock, a rush of nerves rippling through me. They’ve been building all afternoon, but now they’re beginning to really take hold.

I don’t know what he’s going to expect of me, or whether I’m going to make it through more than one day. What if he’s really into sex and uses terms I don’t understand? Will he think I’m an idiot?

I try not to think about James anymore or compare what I’m about to do to our time together, but it’s almost impossible to separate the two. He was my first boyfriend, and my last. I’ve never had sex with anyone else.

At the start of our relationship, sex was great; I enjoyed it, but it never blew my mind. It was the same thing most times and felt good, and that was enough for me because I loved him so intensely.

That feels like a million years ago.

On the corner of my desk, a little green light suddenly glows. It’s the same setup as Adelaide’s, but green instead of orange. I stare at it, my mouth going dry as I stand, checking my appearance before I go in.

I feel like Daniel being thrown into the lion’s den as I head to the door.

Chapter 8

Lissa

The room is just as dark as it was before, the lighting low, the blinds drawn against the windows.

Is this guy a vampire or what?

I stand awkwardly by the door, looking at him. He’s sitting at his desk, his hands steepled against his stomach. He points to the chair opposite, and I go and sit down, grateful for the grounding feeling of the cushion against my ass. My legs feel like they might buckle at any moment.

There’s something different about the office, and I look around curiously, wondering what it is. The desk's surface looks the same, but several bronze ornaments are arranged around the edge. There are more of them on the shelves, too. Those are new; I’m almost certain of it.

For a long while, there’s silence between us. I wonder if he’ll ask me if Adelaide has left, or whether there’s anyone else in the office, but he strikes me as a man who is never taken by surprise about anything.

He doesn’t fidget or seem hesitant in anything he does. He’s forthright, uncompromising. Steady.

I’m not sure whether it was the way he spoke to me yesterday, the reassuring nature of his words, or his insistencethat everything would be approved by me before we start. But I can feel the nerves receding slowly in his presence. Oddly, my body feels something resembling safety. I haven’t felt safe around a man in a very, very long time.

But just like that, all the good feelings are gone in an instant.

Thoughts of James storm my mind, the memories of the bad times bringing an acidic taste to the back of my throat. Anxiety builds even as I try to push it down, but it’s galloping upward, spiraling into the beginnings of a panic attack.

I can’t do this. Why did I ever think I could? What man would want me? I’m useless, ugly, frigid?—

Heath removes his watch.

The strange action catches my eye as I stare at his thick wrist against his fingers as he unbuckles the clasp and moves the watch toward me.

It’s a Jaeger-LeCoultre Polaris. I recognize it from the catalogs James used to get in the mail. He never bought one, though. They’re over sixty grand a piece.

“I would like you to follow the second hand, please,” Heath says. “Every four seconds, breathe in, then hold it for four, then breathe out for four, and repeat, if you can.” His voice is a low murmur. “I’ll do the same. We’re just going to breathe for five minutes together, alright?”