Page 78 of At His Beck & Call

My shoulders lower, the bag held loosely in my hand as I sigh heavily.

“Something happened today at work,” I confess, not wanting to give away anything about Lissa. “I got angry. Really angry. And I didn’t like the way it made me feel.”

There’s a long silence as she watches me, still seated on the bed, infinitely calm.

“It scared me,” I add. “I felt like I wanted to hit something,breaksomething. I didn’t feel like I was in control.”

I can feel my cheeks heating at the admission. I hate being vulnerable at the best of times, but telling such a thing to mymotherof all people feels horrible.

“I’m worried I’m like dad, deep down, and that it’s finally coming out of me, now that I’m older.”

“Look at me, Oliver.”

I do, feeling as if I could dive into her wide, gray eyes, so full of kindness.

“You’renothinglike your father. You never could be. He never worried about his temper. He just let it rule him. For years. You may feel like breaking something, but you don’t. That’s the difference, because you are agoodman, and you have the strength to control yourself and make the right choice.”

She rises, walking over to me slowly, the weight of her broken body heavy against the walker as she keeps her gaze on mine. It’s like looking at a shadow of the woman she might have been if my father had never existed.

“You’re better than him in every way, Oliver. Don’t you ever doubt it. Your father wasn’t a monster; he was just weak and bitter all his life. You’re my son, and the kindest man I’ve ever known.”

Chapter 27

Lissa

The following morning, I’m in the conference room with Noah. He’s been working with a few of the other associates over the past few days to consolidate several boxes, but needs my help with one of the more complex pieces of real estate documentation.

Both Carmen and Richard Reynolds have an unbelievable number of assets, includingthirteenhouses across the globe, multiple hotels, franchises, and business licenses.

I’m not sure how Noah hasn’t gone crazy sifting through it all.

We’ve been working in the small conference room for a couple of hours, with Adelaide poking her head around the door every now and then to check on us. I’ve noticed Noah glancing at me several times, and I try to avoid his eye as much as possible, but when I do catch it, he always gives me a big smile.

It’s a nice smile, and he’s a very good-looking guy, but I’m already regretting agreeing to go on a date with him. In hindsight, it had been an impulsive thing to do, and now, absurdly, I am feeling guilty that I am going anywhere with another man.

Oliver isn’t my boyfriend, but lately our ‘sessions’ have become so intense that my heart and my head are getting confused about where they stand.

I’ve never been kissed by any man like Oliver kisses me, as if he owns me. I had heard women talk about being “weak in the knees” for a man, and that is exactly how I feel around him. I could melt into his whole body whenever he touches me and be almost on the verge of begging him?—

“Lissa?”

Looking up quickly, blood rushes to my face as I find Noah standing beside me.

“Wow. What are you reading? I’ve been talking to you for about a minute.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I was… uh… lost in thought.”

“I just got a call,” Noah says with a frown. “Heath asked me to look into something yesterday, and I have to go check it out. Are you okay to keep going through these folders? It’s mainly the black files that will need to be rearranged, and then if you can put any pertinent details on the top, I’ll run through it this afternoon.”

“Sure. No problem.”

“Thanks, Lissa,” he turns to go and then twists back around, his cheeks slightly pink. “I’m, uh, really looking forward to our date next week, by the way. There’s a little place near here that does great Italian food. Does that sound good?”

He gives me another smile, and I return it as he looks down at me hopefully.

“Italian sounds great,” I lie, as he heads out of the office, still smiling.

My stomach is in knots as I think about the date. It’s not even just about the absurd feeling that I’m betraying Oliver anymore; I simply don’t want to go on a date with Noah. I should just tellhim I have to cancel, but the words keep getting stuck in my throat.