“Why?”
“Well, as I said, I don’t know much about treating ladies unless they’re cattlewomen, so I can’t quite give you the guidance Tallie was expecting of me?—”
“No.” He cut me off. “Why do you want to talk with me? Aren’t you pissed at me?”
I blinked at him. Pissed? I had a whole lot of emotions swirling inside me when it came to Tucker Legare but pissed wasn’t one of them.
Slowly, I shook my head. “I’m not mad at you, Tucker. Mostly I’m sorry.” At his confused look, I shifted to lean my elbow against the porch railing. “I feel like I pressured you into what happened the other night. I realized I’ve been pushing you from the beginning, and I’m sorry. You shouldn’t feel forced into something you’re not ready for.”
Those amber hues looked me over, his normally grumpy expression so unreadable in the dark shades of the early morning gloom, and I held my breath while I waited for what he’d have to say. Finally, Tucker spoke. “You didn’t pressure me, Jackson. I was the one trying to force things. I thought you’d be pissed at me for taking advantage.”
“What do you mean?”
Tucker opened his mouth to speak, but tires on gravel alerted us just before the twin beams of headlights pulled up to the front porch.Granger hopped out of his truck, looking at the two of us with interest as he strode up to the house.
“We havin’ a party an’ I wasn’t invited? I’m hurt,” he drawled, taking the porch steps two at a time.
“No party. Just catching him up on Goldie.” Tucker grunted.
I lifted my mug to him in greeting and took a long sip instead of offering any explanation of my own.
Granger glanced between us again but lifted his hands placatingly. “Fine, keep your secrets. I’m getting coffee.”
When the front doors snicked shut behind him, I let out a slow breath through my nose, glancing at Tucker from the corner of my eye. Would he pick up our conversation again? Small slivers of light were beginning to poke through the murky gray of the overcast sky, which meant more people would be making their way to the farmhouse for breakfast. After several long seconds of silence where neither of us said anything, I stood up straight, rasping a knuckle against the wood of the porch. “I really am sorry, Tucker. I hope you can forgive me, and if you’ve ever ready one day to talk about more for us, you’ll know where to find me.”
He didn’t say anything in response, so I took that as my cue and moved to make my way back inside. But just as I was about to leave, Tucker’s hand wrapped around my wrist, halting me in my steps. The heat of his hand was such a stark contrast from the icy feel of it from the other night, and it sent a shiver along my spine.
“Come to my cabin tonight. After dinner.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JACKSON
Tucker’s cabin was a one-story structure on the outer bands of land about two miles from the main farmhouse. It was nestled nicely near a small grove of trees and secluded enough from the rest of the property to afford the privacy I was sure Tucker and Raleigh had wanted as a couple, but close enough to be available when needed.
It was large compared to what I’d seen from other operations for their foreman, but then again, Tucker had been starting a whole new life inside this house. My fingers drummed on my steering wheel as I stared up at the front porch through my windshield, trying to find the source of the discomfort swirling through my belly.
At first, I’d been thrilled to have been invited. After all, this was Tucker’s domain. It was his sanctuary, and the opportunity to be shown into it and learn more about this brooding man was the lifeline I’d been waiting for. But now that I sat here, I couldn’t shake the low-level prickling just under my skin—like something was slowly creeping along the fibers of my muscles, making me all too aware of myself.
Would I be walking into a clean slate where little pieces ofTucker were strewn about? Or like so much else in his life, would it be a memorial to the man he’d lost?
And was this going to be the talk to end it all between us?
I let out a long breath through my nose, trying to find some sort of balance in the tossing sea of my emotions. Most of my life I’d had to go with the flow of where life was taking me, all while doggy paddling in the general direction of where I wanted to be. Juniper Grove was supposed to be my anchor. Sure, the contract was only for six months, but I could feel it in my bones that this was where I was meant to be.
But Tucker was so damn determined to be the breeze that set me off course again. No one else in my life had ever consumed so much of my thoughts and energy the way my boss did. And my future rested in his hands. I knew I was playing with fire by trying to court him, but that was the thing. The whole crux of my issue.
Juniper Grove felt rightbecauseof Tucker. Everything he’d built. Everything he’d cultivated and shared. The future I could see myself living here was all because of Tucker, so trying to take him out of the equation felt impossible. There were too many reminders of him littered all about this property now. The barn where Goldie had been born. A fence post where he’d lost himself for the first time. The grove of trees where the fire had lit up his image so perfectly, I’d never be able to see him any other way. A chair at the dinner table full of so many memories they had to be woven into the very grain of the wood.
As I thought through all the places and things that held just a small part of the grumpy man, I realized this must have been the way he felt with Raleigh. Everything around him held memories and moments with a man he loved but could no longer see, and my heart ached. Tucker really was the strongest person I knew, because I don’t think I would have been able to continue living on the same land full of little pitfalls the way he had. But that was where his walls had come up from, hadn’t it? He’d had to build an impenetrable fortress around himself just to brave the day.
And I got it.
But I was a selfish man because I knew I was about to walk into that house and once again ask him to take down the barbed wire and lay down his weapons for me. To walk this land full of steel-jawed traps barefoot, with only the reassurance that I’d steer him clear at the last minute.
I groaned softly, running my hands up into my hair to tug at the strands softly. The thing was, I knew I could talk myself in circles about all this, but the only person whose input really mattered wasn’t with me. He was in that house. I lifted my eyes to the front porch and was met with amber hues staring back at me.
Tucker stood just inside his open doorway. His arms were crossed over his wide chest as he watched me intently with his trademark scowl in place. He looked so fucking good, but I cursed under my breath as I wondered how long he’d been standing there. Grabbing my hat from the passenger seat, I tucked my hair back in it and hopped out from my truck. Something thick floated in the air around us that was completely separate from the humid moisture which indicated another impending storm on the horizon.
