Most of the time, we wouldn’t really talk about anything. Just the regular, normal shit that seems so important and dramatic when you’re a teenager. But somewhere along the way, they became the two most important people to me in the world.
I wrapped my fingers tighter around my mug. I missed them so badly it hurt.
If only Ayo had finished her application. If only Flick hadn’t got back together with Adam. If only some miracle had happened and we’d all been cast, and we’d all been eliminated, and they were sitting here with me now, looking up at the stars.
They were going to be so excited once I told them about what was happening.You’re on the fast track to be the star of the next season ofWherefore Art Thou Romeo?!Flick would say.Yass queen!
Okay, but let’s strategise, Ayo would say.Let’s say you go viaJuliet on the Beachfirst. Who do you want to hook up with and then dramatically break up with?
Good question,Flick would say.It’s got to be a careful balance. You need a good launching pad intoWherefore,but you’re going to have to spend a bunch of time with them beforehand, so they can’t have too repellent a personality.
Yep, Ayo would agree.They need to be at least a little bit nice.
‘Cece?’
I jumped, nearly spilling my tea.
‘Sorry,’ Dylan said. ‘I didn’t realise you were a million miles away.’
He wasn’t wearing his iris suit any more. Instead, it looked like the wardrobe department had put him in a male version of my Sister Cecilia clothes. He was wearing trackpants, running shoes, a black puffer jacket so huge it completely disguised the shape of his body, and a beanie jammed down over his hair. He had his glasses on as well. It was the first time I had seen him in them, and they made him look different: older, more serious.
‘This is a real look,’ I said, gesturing up and down his ensemble. ‘Hot date?’
He made a tired-sounding noise that might have been about an eighth of a laugh. ‘I’m done for the night,’ he said. ‘Thank God.’
He sank down on the steps beside me and buried his face in his hands, fingers pressing into his eyelids underneath his glasses. ‘Just let me rest here for a bit,’ he said, his voice muffled. ‘I told them I wanted to walk home instead of taking the golf cart, but I forgot how far it is. My boat’s still a solid half a kilometre away and I’m all out of energy.’
‘Your boat?’
‘Have we not talked about this before?’ he said, glancing at me through his fingers. ‘That’s where they put me when they turned this place into the Convent. A boat on the lake. Sailor. Boat. I guess it made sense. To someone.’
‘Sure,’ I echoed faintly, trying to process the fact that he was sitting here, right next to me, his knee brushing mine, instead of halfway across the room.
Eventually, he sat up. ‘What are you doing out here?’ he asked. ‘It’s late.’
‘I just wanted some air,’ I said. ‘It was a big night here. Marija arriving and all.’
He nodded, looking up at the stars.
I hesitated. ‘I was surprised,’ I said at last. ‘That it was Marija. I thought it was between Heather and Jess K.’
‘So did I.’
I waited. He didn’t elaborate.
‘What happened?’ I asked. ‘Was it a production thing? Did Murray or someone ask you to get rid of her?’
‘No.’
He took his glasses off and started polishing them. ‘Marija sat me down at the Last Chance Party,’ he said. ‘She told me all about herself. She’s had this fascinating life, Cece. She had leukaemia as a kid, and now she works for this foundation that supports families through those kinds of experiences, and—I just couldn’t stop listening to her. I was in awe.’
‘It sounds like you have a lot in common, then,’ I said, grasping the flowering jealousy inside me and twisting it firmly, nipping it in the bud. ‘In terms of charitable stuff, anyway. So what was the problem?’
‘She told me she was developing strong feelings for me,’ Dylan said quietly. ‘And I just… panicked.’
‘Because you don’t feel the same way about her?’ I asked, nipping a different flowering emotion in the bud.
‘Yes. No. Kind of. I don’t know how to explain it.’
