‘But I also know,’ Dylan said, ‘that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.’
He leaned in, resting his forehead against my temple. ‘I’ve been so selfish,’ he said. ‘This last week, with you, here on the boat, just the two of us, has the best week of my life. But I never should have asked it of you.’
I reached out and took one of his hands, gripping it so hard my knuckles turned white.
‘I can’t ask any more of you, Cece,’ he said. ‘I love you, and that’s why I can’t ask you to wait for me, to wait for the thing with Dyl to run its course. I won’t do that.’
‘What if I offered?’ I whispered.
‘No,’ he said. ‘That’s too much.’
‘I’m not saying I am offering,’ I said. ‘But what if I did? What if I went away and thought about it, and what it would mean, and what it might look like? What if I weighed all that up, and then I offered?’
‘We’d be waiting a long time,’ he said. ‘I’m contracted to stay with Dyl for at least three months after the finale airs. Then there’s the airtime for the show on top of that, plus the weeks we’ll have before it even starts airing. We’re looking at six months, minimum.’
‘What if I thought about it?’
‘Then there’s the press!’ he said. ‘You know how they would treat you when they found out we were together, Cece. You know what they would say about you, about me, about bothof us. Even after the six months, we’d have to keep it secret for a long time if we were going to avoid negative repercussions.’
‘What if I still offered?’ I said. ‘What would you say?’
He was silent for a long time, his thumb stroking over my knuckles again and again.
‘I love you,’ he said at last. ‘That means I should say no. No, Cece. Don’t wait for me. I love you too much to put you through that.’
His fingers tightened around mine, and he pressed my hand to his lips. ‘But you’re the only one of us that’s ever been tough enough to walk away,’ he said. ‘If you offered to wait for me, Cece… I would come back to you as soon as I possibly could.’
14
‘I absolutely refuse to be packed in like this,’ Lily said. ‘I’m not a sardine. This robe is not designed to be crushed.’
‘Then you can sit on the floor,’ Murray told her.
She gave him a horrified look.
He rolled his eyes. ‘Or you can stand! I can’t magically conjure more couches in this room for your lounging pleasure, Lily. I’m not a wizard. Kanda, you’re going to have to come forward a bit. You’re not going to be in shot loitering back there.’
‘How long are we going to have to wait this time?’ Naya asked.
‘I don’t control Dylan and how long he takes to eliminate people,’ Murray said. ‘I don’t control you lot, for that matter. You want camera time, stay here and hug and kiss the next victim when she turns up. If you don’t, you can fuck off.’
‘Someone’s in a mood,’ Lily remarked silkily.
‘I’m always in a mood,’ he said. ‘I haven’t slept for weeks. You know that.’
‘And whose fault is that?’
He ignored her. ‘I’m off. Wait for the new person or not, I don’t care. Cece, can I see you for a minute?’
My throat went desert-dry as I followed Murray out to the verandah.You’ve been fucking the Romeo and fucking up the love story we’re trying to tell,he was going to say.We’ve got special permission from the government to send you away now, before restrictions lift, so you can’t fuck it up worse. You’re leaving now. We’ll send your shit later. Oh, and you’re not getting paid.
‘The network’s made a call,’ Murray said abruptly, clattering the French doors shut behind him. ‘They’re offering you the lead on the next season ofWherefore Art Thou Romeo?’
I opened my mouth. Closed it again.
I wasn’t in trouble. They weren’t taking me away from Dylan before I had a chance to say goodbye. They were offering me a blank cheque and a chance to be famous.
And yet my heart had sunk to somewhere in the vicinity of my left foot.
