Lynna and Rexxan, they are both right.
In the dead of night, I succumb to unconsciousness once more.
Chapter40
Siddie (Renna)
Rexxan came by this morning after my fitful night of bad dreams to tell me that he is fine and that I do not need to worry about him, which I've intelligently translated to mean that he absolutely is not fine and that Idoneed to be worried
By the time the healers have treated my leg and given me various concoctions to drink, Rexxan is nowhere to be found. My muscles scream at me as I limp into his library. Everything hurts, and I've never felt so tired.
I should feel joy, elation, or perhaps at a bare minimum a sense of accomplishment about the fact that we quite literally saved the world, but I don't. The quest stole so much from me that it's hard to feel positive about it in any form. Rexxan is always muttering about pyrrhic victories, and now at last I understand them.
"Renna, you must rest," urges Lynna, finding me wandering the library.
"I'm looking for Rex."
I turn to face her. Gods, she's absolutely glorious. Her flawless skin glows in the warm dim light of the library, the elegant sheer sleeves of her dress tumbling down to the ground, joining the skirt that pools like molten silver at her feet. A delicate gold chain sits low on her waist over the white silk. Her face is pristine, her hair immaculate, her clothes expensive, her jewellery coordinated. I'd loathe her, but she makes it impossible.
"He's busy today."
"Can I know why?"
"Of course you can know why, Renna. The King has given you access to all information on him and all the areas of his palace. You're free to ask and do as you please. Ocealia's floodgates are being damaged by a storm so Rexxan is shifting the storm northwards until the refugee boats can dock safely and it's no longer a threat to life over there," she explains, gathering the satin skirt of her dress and gracefully sitting down on the velvet sofa beside me as I stare at the ten feet tall shelves of books.
That doesn’t bode well for Rex. I fiddle with my rings nervously. Is he alright?
"He's read every book in here," she says, softly, when I'm silent for a moment.
My head whirls around to face her. "Surely not."
"Most of them twice."
"That must be thousands!"
"Ten thousand, and he's read many more that aren't in this room too."
"What?!" I exclaim, baffled. I don't even know why I'm surprised, actually. Whenever I wake up in the night he's reading beside me. Lynna laughs, a row of pristine white teeth on display. Only the gods know what I must look like sat next to her.
"He's an odd fellow, isn't he?" I ask, peering up at the shelves, ignoring the worry for Rexxan that eats away at me. Is he tied to that table again? Is he begging them to stop? "What was he like? You grew up with him?"
"I did. We went to healing lessons together as children too, until my parents made me leave. He was... charismatic, and witty too, I suppose. Larger than life. If you ever meet Siddie, his son, he's just like Rex used to be. Always getting up to something or showing up late to class, pretending he slept in, which of course nobody believed because he was dressed in hunting gear, caked in mud, and carrying a sword."
I laugh a little and she smiles fondly. That sounds like the real him.
"I remember Rexxan and Frian throwing a party about a year before the Fire Stone was taken. They filled the King's Fountain with red wine. At three in the morning they were standing in it, opera singing. We were just teenagers, Ren." Her smile fades fast, the warmth in her eyes draining away. "Then a year later, life was unrecognisable.Hewas unrecognisable."
"Because of the stone?" I ask, barely a whisper.
"His father chose a bride for him and they married, despite him being a teenager. He put such pressure on Rexxan's shoulders to have a child. He'd send the two of them off to romantic retreats, telling them to come back expecting a child. It was all so wrong. As his friends, all we could do was watch as his father forced him to grow up far earlier than he should've. Alia fell pregnant quickly, bless her, and then before we knew it, Rexxan was a father whilst the rest of us were still meeting up to drink and play games in the fields after lessons. We didn't see much of him after that. He was besotted with Siddie, let me be clear, but he wasn't ready for any of it."
I nod, silently trying to process this information. I knew Rex raised his son young, but I didn't realise it was quite so young.
"Then, of course, his family all passed and Rexxan inherited the title of King so early in life. Our nights at parties turned into his staff seeing if they could squeeze me into his schedule for the week. Conversations on the roof of the palace over a bottle of wine turned to me watching him give speeches to the public. Nights in his bed turned into overnight shifts with his council, watching him try and negotiate other kingdoms out of declaring war on each other. So much weight on such young shoulders.
“He had a newborn baby at the time. He wasn't able to sit upright for months. He just lay there with only one working arm, one working eye, covering one side of his face and chest so his son wasn't scared of him." She shakes her head and blinks back tears as if banishing the memories and drawing the conversation to a close. "He's never been the same since."
My heart pounds in my chest. I don't know how he's survived it all. The rooms that separate us are suddenly far too much. I want to reach my hands into his chest and mend the scars that he doesn't even let me see. "Can I see him?"
