"Lucky," she tests the word like she doesn't believe me. I dry her short blonde hair, laying out her clothes and letting her dress on her own. I thought it might be hard, having a child who isn't yet comfortable with physical touch, but it isn't. Growing up with an abusive father has me understanding every little decision that pops out of her head.
"Arms up!" I say, when she hands me the sweetest little knitted jumper. I bought it for her to match the colour of Rexxan's eyes. She holds her arms up and I slip it over her head quickly, smiling as her head pops out of it. "There she is; my lovely girl."
Her cheeks flush, shy like she is whenever anyone compliments her. As I roll up the cuff of her sleeves Rex strides in, his face a little bloody. He locks his sword in our new child-proofed cabinet and comes right over. He's so happy. I thought he was happy just before Poppy, but he'ssohappy now. Beside the man I met in the forest two years ago, he is utterly indistinguishable.
"My girls," he says, kissing my lips softly and then both of Poppy’s cheeks. She holds up her arms for him to pick her up and he spins her around, tugging me up to dance with them.
"Did you miss me?" She asks, barely audible. She asks us both this, every single time we come home from anywhere. It's sad, because I know there must be a reason why she asks it so often.
"I missed yousomuch, Anpopeia. And your mama too.”
Rexxan and I have cut our work hours down for this month and next. It buys us time to spend some time together with Poppy. And when she's at nursery, it allows us to waste an afternoon in our downstairs bedroom, or volunteer with the displaced families that are still sheltered here, or do our newfound hobby of hunting together in the woods.
We get her shoes on and take her down to the nursery, full of similar-aged children of the palace staff. She used to cry when she arrived, now she barrels in like a bull in a china shop in the direction of the drawing table. We can’t even get a goodbye out of her. It makes my heart sing.
* * *
By early afternoon,Anna, Ascan, and Lynna burst into my room. They all shriek, piling into mine and Rexxan's bed. Anna tackles me with astounding force, tossing me into the headboard.
“Your braids are in my mouth,” I protest, as she hugs me hard. She pulls away and smells a pillow. "Even your room smells like sex. Fuck me, did youjusthave sex in here?!"
"It's not my fault! We didn't get to bed last night because Poppy had the mother of all meltdowns!"
Anna and Lynna start berating me and I'm fighting for my life as Ascan smells the pillow and nods. "Smells like sex, Renna."
"Stop!" I hiss, hiding behind Lynna, who just laughs. She carries a silk bag in her hand, sealed with the green ribbons of the best dressmaker in the Forest Kingdom.
I sit on the bed, chatting happily with Anna while I let Lynna and Ascan fuss over my hair. A huge bouquet of yellow roses arrives into the room, hand-delivered by two guards. They deposit it on the bedside table in front of me, and hand me a card. I open it to see little messages from all forty of the royal guards, each one carrying kind words about me. I look up and swallow the lump in my throat as they smile and bow their heads. "Congratulations, my lady. Have a wonderful wedding."
"Thank you both," I say, my heart full to bursting. I've come to love Rexxan's staff. He says they're an extension of himself, and I understand that now. My manicured—thanks to Lynna—fingernails pluck the notecard off the flowers. Ostentatious handwriting in metallic gold ink sits atop dark green paper; Rexxan's stationery.
Rennalya,
I'm the luckiest man alive to be able to say you're going to be my wife.
Don't drink too much, I have plans for you later.
Yours and enraptured,
ROATRH.
I grinat the name at the bottom. He's added our daughter’s name to his own. Rexxan Obsidian Anpopeia Tsellyx Rellyn Hallenian. His name is as obnoxious as the opulence of our home, but beneath the surface it's a tribute to the people he loves. Anna sighs at the huge bouquet of roses in the box. “I want one.”
"One day," replies Lynna. Ascan just winks at me. I know Talyn spoils him just as much as Rex spoils me.
"Holyshit!" I say, as Lynna turns round the full-length mirror. I look...well, I lookpretty. I often feel sexy, but it's not often I feel pretty. I feel it now, though. I'm in a black dress, the shiny satin pooling at my feet. The bodice is tightly fitted, and a scandalous off-shoulder neckline shows off more than enough cleavage. I love it. The skirt billows out around my hips, the perfect shade of iridescent black.
My hair is almost all down, left to flow freely to my hips, just two small braids put into the front and tied to meet at the back of my head. Dark makeup lines my eyes, expertly applied. A gold necklace with a tiny poppy charm dangles around my neck. I've never been much of a dress person, but I'd be buried in this one if I could.
Ascan is crying.For fucks sake. "You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen!"
Lynna nods, dabbing the corner of her eye with a handkerchief. Anna just wolf-whistles. "I would if I could!" She shouts, and I laugh.
“I feel happy and sad,” I whisper, as Lynna delicately puts an earring in my ear.
She smiles fondly. “To marry as a woman is bittersweet, Renna. We gainsomuch, but we lose a little of ourselves too. Its okay to feel sad for the little girl you once were.”
She walks me down to the small dining hall that we are eating in, leaving me alone outside. I'm nervous. Why the fuck am I nervous? I've never been nervous about anything in my life, let alone seeing the man who I’ve seen almost every day for a year.
