‘You still gave her the benefit of the doubt.’
‘I thought things would improve. Clung to that thought. My father died then. We had never been particularly close because he was a difficult man as I’m sure my uncle would testify. He tried on several occasions to heal the breach between them, but my father would have none of it. I have no idea what they fought over, but I do know he never forgave me for running away to sea rather than going to university and training to be the Earl I was destined to become. We rarely saw one another when I came home on leave. I preferred to stay at my sister’s house and he preferred to avoid me when I did. We never ever sorted it out or mended the breach between us either...even when I was on the brink of death myself. I recall he visited me twice and both times he was adamant none of it would have happened if I’d obeyed him as I was supposed to... And then it was too late. I was still too ill to attend the funeral and while Eleanor went, she asked Miranda to sit with me. And it all came out. She was dreading the prospect of marrying me, even admitted gazing upon my face made her feel physically sick. She claimed she needed time and, because I still foolishly hoped she would come around, I offered her a termination of our engagement.’
‘An offer she gratefully accepted.’
‘She did—but not before assuring me that she probablydidonly need time and that it was more a postponement than a termination. And that once my scars had healed... I demanded a mirror that same day because I wanted to know how long they would actually take to fully heal and...well...’
‘You realised they were always going to be there. How did that make you feel?’
‘Hideous. Ashamed.’ Should he tell her about the young mother? ‘Shortly after that, Eleanor bullied me into getting some fresh air. It was early. We crossed the road from her house to the empty park and we fed the ducks. A woman arrived with her son to do the same. She took one look at me and hastily covered the child’s face to shield him from the sight.’
‘Oh, Max...’ He saw tears glisten in her eyes. ‘People can be awful.’
‘It was the last straw. I suppose I lost all hope of everything then.’
‘That is always easier.’ She shot him a wry smile at his obvious consternation. A sure sign she was about to give him a swift kick up the backside. ‘Admit it, Max, giving up is always easier than daring to dream. Expecting disappointment is easier than hoping for happiness. Accepting shallow Miranda’s or that stupid, thoughtless woman in the park’s assessment of what you were gave you the excuse to give up.’
‘Are you suggesting I took the easy way out?’
‘No... I’m suggesting you took the natural path—the fragile human path first as we all do when hope seems lost—but that now you are ready and able to brave another. That is human nature, too. When we get knocked down, inevitably we have to get back up. History is peppered with examples. Would you like me to recite some?’
‘Don’t you dare.’ Now he was smiling, too. He’d just told her that he had scared a woman in a park and repulsed his fiancée and he was smiling. Clearly it was a day for the miraculous. ‘Perhaps time really does heal all wounds?’
He watched her gaze wander to the sheet covering the big mirror and seriously considered shutting her down before she dared ask what he knew she was going to, but didn’t. ‘What do you see now when you look at your reflection?’
‘I try to avoid it.’
‘I know...’ She walked towards him and held out her hand. ‘But you cannot avoid it for ever.’
She tugged him to the mirror and then ripped away the sheet, forcing him to stare at his own reflection while she gazed up at his face. ‘Do you want to know what I see?’
She didn’t wait for his answer.
‘I see a man who has survived the worst and lived to tell the tale. I see a man who put his entire crew before himself and sent every one of them home to their families alive. I see a man who is lost, but is trying to find his way again. A man who loves his sister even though she drives him mad. Who digs trenches for a peculiar stranger who he allows to trespass on his land. One who insists on accompanying a woman home to keep her safe. Who claims he wants to be left alone, but actively seeks me out. A man who can predict the weather and charm the most toffee-nosed snob into his way of thinking. Who carries a few scars that I no longer notice because I only see the hero who lies beneath them, who thinks too deeply and cares too much what others think of him.’ In the mirror, he watched her smile the same sultry smile she had allowed him to see last night after their kiss. ‘A man who wears his breeches too well and, in my humble opinion, fills his coats better than any other. Whose eyes dance with mischief. A man who isn’t the least bit intimidated by a woman who is far cleverer than him...’
‘I wouldn’t go that far...’
Lilacs and roses enveloped him before she reached out to trace the ugly disfigurement on his cheek and he forced himself not to flinch or pull away, while he anxiously watched their reflections to see if she was tempted to. Then felt humbled and elated and overwhelmed that she didn’t.
‘I see the man I want to kiss again—because his kisses are divine and they make me feel like a woman rather than an oddity. And nobody has ever made me feel like that before, Max...only you.’
It was more a whisper than a kiss, but more potent because of it. Her lips brushed over his, then slowly worked their way across his scar to his neck. Her teeth nipped his ear while her fingers wove their way into his hair and when she kissed his mouth again it was achingly soft, but bold and sensual. ‘I’ve been thinking about this all day... You... Me... All alone.’ She took both his hands and placed them on her body and the question he hadn’t dared ask suddenly blurted out.
‘Do you see a man who you might consider for ever with?’
She paused and turned towards the mirror to gaze at his reflection while he gazed at hers. ‘That depends...on what you see when you look at me.’
If she was expecting a long speech, she was about to be disappointed. There was only one answer he could give at this significant and pivotal moment, and that was the truth. ‘I see the woman I love, Effie.’
And then he saw exactly what she was feeling in the unfathomable depths of her eyes before she said the words he so desperately needed to hear. ‘Then for ever sounds perfect...because I love you, too, Max. I think I always have.’
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dig Day 804: you learn something new every day...
He kissed her, but this kiss was entirely different. She could feel all his emotion and all his love because he poured it all into it until she felt breathless. And then, when he stopped, she could see the passion in his eyes. The need. The absolute noble frustration.
‘What’s the matter?’
