Just when I begin to wonder if my date has ditched me, getting my hopes up that I can cancel curse-curing for the day and enjoy my time with Lex, he shows. He’s a young and handsome Asian guy wearing bright red sneakers, tight jeans, and a black T-shirt with a rearing mystical unicorn on it. Odd choice in clothing, but I commend him on his bold sense of style.
Unicorn Guy takes my hand when I reach out to shake his, pulling me up and in for a hug. “I’m so excited to meet you!” he says, tugging me close and giving me a good whiff of his spicy cologne.
The moment we separate and sit back in our seats, I give Lex a hidden thumbs-up.So far, so good.
“Do you like my shirt?” he asks, pulling the material taut so I can get a better look at the unicorn design.
Odd question.“Uh, yeah. It’s... unique?”
He laughs, his smile wide and infectious. “Just like you are.”
My face warms at the sentiment. He’s oddly excited considering Lex swears all she does is tell my potential dates that I prefer to chat in person. Outside of swiping, I’m not allowed to see who I’m getting set up with or how he messages in case it affects the science. Lex is adorably strict about the rules.
Unicorn Guy flags the server down and orders an old-fashioned and a glass of chilled white wine.
“Oh, I’m fine with my club soda,” I interject before the server can leave.
He waves a hand. “Of course! The wine’s not for you.”
I blink, confused. “Okay.”
The server leaves us, a few questions rolling around in the back of my mind, but before I can ask them, Unicorn Guy leans toward me with his elbows on the table, eyes bright and shining, smile on full display. “I’ve been on these dating apps for a long time,” he says. “It’s super rare to find someone like you.”
I squeeze a lime into my drink, shooting some juice into my eye as I do. “Ah, fuck.”
“You okay?”
I rub a napkin against my watery eye and blink past the pain, looking over to Lex who hoists a small bottle of eye drops, because of course she’s prepared for every possible scenario.
“I’m good,” I say, enunciating enough for her to read my lips. Lex gives me a nod. “So, you were saying, you don’t get many dates?” I ask, turning my attention back to Unicorn Guy.
He blows a raspberry through his lips. “I mean, dates? Yes, of course. I go on lots of dates, but not with someone like you. You’re a rare breed of woman, Aubrey. We’re going to make sure you’re very happy.”
My brows pinch together. “We?”
Unicorn Guy’s head tilts to the side. “Of course! It’s not going to be all about us. We want to make sure you’re having fun, too.”
Does this guy have multiple personalities or something? “I’m sorry, I’m confused, you and who else?”
Unicorn Guy’s smile falters. “Me and my girlfriend. Obviously.”
I eye his unicorn shirt once more, and it all clicks: He thinks I’m here for a threesome. How did Lex miss this when she was messaging him? I’ll have to ask her when we have our post-date debrief, which is the best part of these dates, anyway. At least I have an excuse to nope out of here early so we can leave and get some ice cream.
I turn toward Lex to give her the signal which is, unfortunately, just a throat-slice gesture rather than titty Morse code, but freeze in my spot.Is that who I think it is at the hostess stand?
I jolt back around and hide my face behind my hands. “Oh, fuck. Oh no.”
“What’s wrong?” Unicorn Guy asks, leaning toward me.
Before I can explain, it’s happening. I twist in my chair away from Unicorn Guy as his date approaches, the voice of the woman taking a seat next to him painfully familiar. A voice I’d recognize anywhere.
“Hey, baby!” she croons to him, which is followed by the sound of sloppy, wet kissing while I try not to gag. “Sorry I’m late! I got held up in traffic.”
I turn around quickly, ripping off the Band-Aid, and lock eyes with the gorgeous blonde woman across the table. She sputters and chokes on her wine mid-sip, spraying Chardonnay.
Unicorn Guy pats her on the back, confusion plaguing his brow. “Are you okay?”
She’s too busy coughing to explain the situation, which leaves it to me. I look over to Lex, who’s eyeing us quizzically, and speak loud enough for her to hear. “Hi, Mom. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
