I draw my eyes to hers, and suck in a sharp breath. Lex holds me in her gaze with such affection, such care, suchlonging, it makes my chest ache.
“You could never ruin anything,” Lex says.
A surprised laugh bubbles up inside me. “Are you kidding? I ruineverything.”
Lex’s dimples flash as she smiles and shakes her head, shifting closer. “Not this. Never this.”
“But I fucked it all up,” I try to explain. “We can’t be friends if I’m in love with you. It will never work.”
“Don’t you see?” Lex’s brow furrows as she shakes her head. “I’ve been in love with you this whole time.”
My heart stammers in my chest as my peripherals go hazy, my focus on Lex becoming all-encompassing. There’s no way I heard her right. I swallow. Lick my lips. Shake my head. “What?”
Lex takes a moment to gather her thoughts, thumb stroking over my knee. “I felt drawn to you right from the very beginning. When the zipper incident happened, yes it was terrible, but you took charge and did everything you needed to make sure we got the help we needed. You didn’t have to stay at the hospital, but you did. You didn’t leave until you knew we were both okay, despite how uncomfortable it was.”
“Felt like the right thing to do,” I mumble. “I thought you hated me. You were so annoyed—and rightfully so!”
“Yeah, annoyed that I thought you looked so beautiful even after everything that happened.” Lex smiles.
My chest aches. “You thought I was beautiful?”
Lex’s tone and eyes soften as she continues. “And then we became friends after you returned my jacket and... right away, I knew there was something different about our friendship. Maybe it was the circumstances that brought us together, or maybe it was that there was something inside me that recognized you on a level I’ll never fully comprehend. There was no being on our best behaviour, or trying too hard, or anything else fake that I’ve had to put up with my whole life. And even though we’d just met, I’d never felt so safe being vulnerable with someone else. It’s like you truly saw me when no one else had taken the time to look. You made me feel comfortable being myself andfiguring out who that was after years of pretending to be someone I’m not.”
The depth of her confession is still sinking in when Lex takes both my hands in hers, then rests them on my thighs. Her skin is soft, fingers dainty, grasp careful.
“The more dates we went on the harder it was to be there for you,” she explains. “Watching men treat you poorly when I knew I could do so much better was its own form of torture. But I didn’t think you’d ever see me like that. So, I tried to move on, compartmentalize. To put the feelings I had for you away so we could just be friends. I even tried dating other people.”
I shake my head, realization sinking in. “I’m such a fool. All this time, you and me... we could have...”
Lex’s dimples make a beautiful appearance as a smile lights up her face. “Let’s not waste any more time.”
I don’t. Before I can overthink it, or worry about something going wrong, or wonder if she wants this as badly as I do, I lean across the space between us and press my lips to hers. Lex meets me, her mouth soft and plush and warm andeverything.I’ve had lots of first kisses in my life, but never before has anything ever felt close to this. Yes, there’s heat and yearning andwant, but there’s also an incredible sense of comfort. A first kiss with Lex feels like jumping off a high dive, feels like stars exploding in the vast reaches of space... feels like coming home.
Despite how incredible this moment is, a brain cell clicks on and I manage to pull myself away from Lex just long enough to ask one cautious question. “Lynn?”
“Ended things,” Lex says. “Olsen?”
I shake my head, nuzzling my nose against hers as I do. “Same.”
I kiss her again, and Lex cups the base of my neck like she’s scared I’ll suddenly change my mind. My skin ignites at hertouch, searing points at each of her fingertips where she holds me in place, as she moulds her lips to mine in a tender embrace. My body folds into hers, grasping at her clothes, eager to feel her body against mine. Our lips part just long enough to breathe, a quick gasping intake of air, before they meet again and again.
Lex gently pulls away and rests her forehead against mine as we catch our breaths.
“Wow,” I manage to say, still gripping her jacket in my fists.
“Wow,” she agrees, huffing a quiet laugh.
“I never want to stop kissing you,” I murmur.
“Me either,” she says.
But kissing her isn’t enough. I want to pull Lex closer, to feel the weight of her body on mine, to have her skin bare for me with nothing between us. I want to know how she tastes.
“I want to hold you,” I say, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
She nods. “Me, too.”
“The bed?” I ask.
