Lex regards me a long moment, then nods.
I thread my fingers through hers as I stand. Her hands are so soft and dexterous, and our fingers fit together perfectly. I tug her gently toward the bedroom, keeping my eyes affixed to hers as she follows, watching for any sign of hesitation, finding none. When we step into the darkened room, I release her hand and we make our way to opposite sides of the bed.
Wordlessly, Lex slips off her jacket and drapes it over the nightstand on her side. I follow suit, releasing the blanket I have wrapped around my shoulders and letting it pool around my feet. I keep my eyes on Lex—her turn to remove another article of clothing. She unbuttons her pants, bending slowly as she shimmies them over her wide hips and generous ass, down to her feet, where she tugs them off gracefully and folds them,joining them with her jacket. Her shirt is loose and long, covering her body just below her panties, leaving me aching to see more. I bend at the waist, pulling my sweatpants down, standing on one leg to slip them over my ankle, but greatly overestimate my gracefulness and stumble backward into my dresser.
Lex takes a step, as if she’s going to launch herself over the bed to catch me before I fall. “You alri—”
“Yep,” I interrupt, hopping on one foot to get my pants off before standing back upright and tossing them carelessly onto the pile of laundry in the corner.
She fiddles with the hem of her top. “I think shirts on?”
As much as I want to have Lex bare for me and feel every inch of her skin pressed against mine with no barriers, I agree that this is probably for the best.
Lex expertly reaches behind herself to unclasp her bra and slide the straps through the arms of her shirt. She places it on top of her neatly folded pile of clothes before peeling back the sheet on my bed. I follow her lead, slipping under the blanket at the exact moment she does. We pull the covers up to our chests, roll onto our sides, and look deep into each other’s eyes, only an inch between us.
Tentatively, I slip a foot toward her. Lex responds by sliding her toes up my calf. I inch a bit closer, and Lex and I take turns doing this until we’re nose to nose, hands clasped between us, knees touching.
“Hi,” I whisper.
The shadows of her dimples become visible as she smiles, cast in shades of navy and grey. “Hi,” she breathes.
I can’t believe I’m here. My entire body tingles with a feeling I can’t quite place. Not nervous energy. Not butterflies. But an odd sense of calm. Like everything I’ve done in my life has somehow, haphazardly, led me to this point, and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. If there is such a thing as aperfect moment, I’d expect I’d receive very few of them in my lifetime. This... this is one of those times. And god, we’re barely touching.
“I can’t believe this is real.” I whisper my words like they’re a confession.
Lex’s nose brushes against mine as she nods. “A lot has changed in a short amount of time.”
The reality of this quick flip in my life hasn’t sunk in at all; I’m still basking in the glow of it.
“How are you feeling after everything that happened yesterday?” Lex whispers.
“I’m the one who should be asking that question. I ruined your date and made you break up with your girlfriend.” I grimace, guilt-ridden.
“She wasn’t my girlfriend,” Lex says. “We’d only been on a few dates.”
“You left, and Lynn was in your car... what did you say to her?”
“I didn’t have to say anything. The moment I got back in the car she knew. I said I was sorry. She said it was alright, and that she could tell there was something between us. Then she wished us her best.”
She could tell? How am I the only one who didn’t see it?
“I drove her home, sort of in a daze, and then I watched her walk into her place and shut the door. And then I just sat there, in my car, thinking. For a long time.”
“Thinking about what?”
“Thinking I was potentially about to break my own heart. When you told me you loved me it was as if my whole world tilted and shifted. I’d had feelings for friends before and they’d gone unreciprocated, and over time those feelings had faded into nothing. So had our friendships, eventually. I thought this would be another one of those situations.” The pain in her voice isevident. “You never told me you were queer. We didn’t go on any dates with women.”
My cheeks warm. “I guess I never thought about it before.”
“How have you never thought about it before? I’ve been wrestling with my identity since I was a little kid.” Her question doesn’t hold any judgment, just curiosity.
I feel myself wither beside her. “Is that a problem? Like, am I not... queer enough for you?”
“No!” Lex’s brows pinch in concern. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
“I’ve never been with a woman,” I admit, almost defensively. “But I’m not worried about it. Are you?”
“No.” She begins shaking her head, then slows, her mouth twisting to the side. “I mean, sort of?”
