“What do you mean?” Her brow pinches, blue eyes sharpening.
My gut twists. “Because of the curse.”
“I knowaboutthe curse and the fallout from it, but you never told me how you got it.”
“It’s not a fun story,” I say, shoving the last bite of cinnamon bun into my mouth to try to avoid the conversation.
“You can trust me,” Lex coaxes. “I promise I won’t judge.”
I rewind through time and space, to where I was in my life for everything to culminate in the curse and my life of loneliness.
“I had a really hard time in high school,” I say slowly. “My mom and I were barely talking to each other by that point. Whenever I was home we were fighting, or she’d have some new random boyfriend over, or I’d be cleaning up after one of her dumb parties. So, I always wanted to be out. Except, the problem was, I had like, one friend since elementary and we weren’t really friends anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Growing up, Courtney and I used to be such weirdos. We didn’t care about what anyone else thought. We were unabashedly strange.” I smile at the memories, of co-writing cringey Jane Austen vampire fanfiction, staying up late locking Sims in their basements to create an army of ghosts, LARPing in her backyard as variousLord of the Ringscharacters. My memories cloud, and I frown. “Then, the summer before grade twelve, everything changed. Being popular became the priority. Having lots of friends was more important than maintaining the friendship we had for so many years. There were backhanded compliments, teasing and taunting, and then a gross rumour was spread about blow jobs in the boys’ change room...” I trail off, a sick feeling settling in the base of my belly.
“That’s awful,” Lex tuts.
“I’d been so desperate to fit in. To belong. I’d have done anything to be part of the cool crowd, but it was all so surface level and fake. Do you remember how I told you when I lost my virginity the door opened and there were a bunch of girls there, laughing at me?”
Lex nods.
“Those were my so-called ‘friends.’”
She gasps. “What! And then they...?”
“Yup. They spread the ‘Queef Queen’ story all over social media.”
Lex shakes her head in disbelief. “Were they the ones who did the curse?”
I manage to nod past a wave of nausea.
“What about Courtney?” Lex ventures. “Did she do anything, say anything?”
“No,” I say quietly. “I never spoke to her again.”
“I’m so sorry,” Lex says quietly. “Girls can be so cruel.”
“You know it better than most,” I offer, recalling how she’d shared with me her own stories of bullying in school.
“I do. But the good news is, we don’t have to worry about that anymore. We’ve moved past it. We’ve found a true friendship, a true love, just being ourselves.”
“You’re right.” I exhale a relieved sigh. “And the curse is broken, all thanks to you.”
“It’s a new chapter,” she agrees. “You can put it all behind you now.”
Lex pulls me against her chest, hugging me close. As a single tear slips down my cheek, I feel better, even if just a little, in knowing that she’s heard one of the worst moments of my life and her first instinct is to bring me closer instead of pushing me away.
Though, I can’t help but wonder whether she would feel the same way if she truly kneweverythingabout what happened all those years ago.
chapter twenty-one
Past All That
“I wish we could spend the whole day together,” Lex bemoans after we manage to extricate ourselves from our cozy couch nest, lattes long since drank and pastries nothing but crumbs left for Winston to sniff out.
“I know,” I whine, tugging on my sneakers to take him for a walk. “Can’t you just not go grocery shopping or do laundry or clean your house and stay here with me instead?”
