I stand when Olsen walks through the door of Tacofino’s trendy downtown patio, looking smart and handsome and kind, as always. He draws me in for a tight hug, as if he’s missed me dearly and has been worried about my well-being. He smells good—a mix of masculine shower gel and the same laundry detergent Lex uses. My heart twists suddenly, aching for Lex to be here instead of Olsen. Then the sharp stabbing sensation in my chest twists the other direction with guilt that I’ve tricked him into thinking I have feelings for him.
I pry myself away and we sit in the cozy patio chairs facing one another. Olsen doesn’t seem to pick up on my uneasiness at all. After we order our drinks and food, he reaches across the table, taking my hands in his. His hands are soft and big, but I feel trapped by them instead of comforted. I want to pull away, but it seems he needs to touch me to feel grounded, and it’s the least I can do after accidentally stringing him along.
The best way out is through, and I owe him the decency of making this quick. “So, Olsen, I—”
“May I go first?” he asks, his voice low and hopeful. He smiles a little, cheeks turning pink. “I’ve practised what I want to say and I’m afraid I’ll lose my nerve if I wait.”
I blush, too, melted by the idea of this tall, gorgeous man nervously fumbling through a speech in front of the mirror before working up the courage to talk to me. I manage to nod.
Olsen steels his resolve with a slow inhale. “I’m not sure what went wrong between us. One moment we were on the couch, everything was great, and then it wasn’t. When you said, uh...” He clears his throat.
I nod as my cheeks burn. “Yup.”
“Which was weird.”
I continue nodding. He’s figuring it out all on his own. I don’t even need to explain it.
“That was confusing. But then you just ran off and wouldn’t answer the phone. I was so scared something happened to you. Then, when I called Lex and you answered for her, I felt so...”
I bite my lip. He’s so close to the answer.
“Relieved.”
Wait, what?
“Relieved you were okay, that is,” he says, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smile. “Sometimes weird stuff happens during sex. I’m sure you said her name by accident because you spend all your spare time together and we’d just been talking about her. I figured you were just embarrassed and needed some space, but I was really worried about you.”
He couldn’t be more off-base. I open my mouth to try to explain the hard truth, but Olsen isn’t finished. “Honestly, it’s kind of funny. I’m sure we’ll be laughing about it someday. I just wish you hadn’t felt like you couldn’t have talked to me about it. It’s my fault you didn’t feel like you could call me back. I want you to be able to trust me.”
He offers me an apologetic smile, and my mind blanks on what to say next.
“I hope we can move forward, because I want you in my life. I want to take you on more dates, and continue getting to know you, and maybe...” He takes a slow breath, his thumb stroking the back of my hand. “Maybe we can take things a step further. Make our relationship official.”
Wait a second, official? Next steps?! This didnotgo to plan. I release Olsen’s hands to take a long sip of water, trying to cool myself off.
“It already feels like you’re part of the family. My nephew likes you, and Lex is basically a sister to you—”
I choke on my drink and spray Olsen in the face. Olsen sits back quickly, wiping at the spittle. Coughing and sputtering through an apology, I reach for a napkin, but he grabs it at the same time. Together we knock over his margarita, which soaks our table as it rolls off and clatters to the ground. Just as this happens a server approaches, heavily laden with trays of food. Her foot comes down on the glass and she trips, sending tacos flying as she flails and falls with a loud crash.
Olsen and I spring into action, reaching for the woman at the same time, knocking our heads together.
“Ah, fuck,” he says, hand flying to his forehead.
“Sorry!” I cry, rubbing my temple.
“It’s fine, can you help me get her off the floor?” He gestures to the poor woman splayed out and covered in taco detritus.
Olsen and I lift her together and steer her into a chair before he launches into full doctor mode. He’s charming and capable, with impeccable bedside manner, and even has the woman smiling and laughing after a few moments. After a complete check-up and several napkins to help clean guacamole and salsa off her black shirt and trousers, the mess is behind us and we return to our seats. We sit across the table, regarding one another withwhat the fuck just happened?expressions.
Finally, Olsen laughs and says, “Well, that was awkward.”
I jolt as realization smacks me in the face. It’s like I’ve been playing thatPerfectiongame from my childhood—rushing to fit all the shapes into their slots, only to have the board launch all the pieces back out and scare the shit out of me in the process.
He’s right... itwasawkward. There have been so many other awkward moments I’ve tried to brush off, but I can’t ignore it now. The goodbye with Lex after our first time together. Ebele barging in on us in my office when Lex was going down on me. This whole entire fiasco of both Olsen and Lex wanting to be with me at the same time...
The curse isn’t gone. It’s still here, fucking up my life worse than ever. And I have no idea what it means.
I cover my face with my hands and rest my elbows on the table, every profanity I know echoing through my mind like crashing cymbals.
