Despite everything, I chuckled. “Wouldn’t be surprised.”
Silence settled between us and I knew he was doing everything in his power to not ask me about Avery.
“She’s okay,” I said softly. “She’s still hurt. I mean, it sounds like she’s doing better with your mom at least. That’s a first.”
“Mom started therapy. She’s trying. She’s also mad at me.”
“I think everyone is.”
Austin blew out a breath. “Yeah. Rightly so. Dallas and I had to work through some stuff too. I think I’ve been running myself into the ground and I haven’t taken a single second to work on myself since Dad passed. None of this is an excuse.”
“It’s not.”
“I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry, Mateo. You’re one of my best friends?—”
“Was. At least that’s what you said.”
Austin winced. “I treated you like shit. I treated Levi like shit. I don’t know how to make it up to any of you.”
I held out my hand, palm up. He hesitated for a moment and then slid his into mine. I gave him a gentle squeeze and just sat there, watching the quiet street in front of the station.
“I can’t really function without you,” he whispered. “Ever since you came to Whynot, we’ve been friends. And you’ve quickly become one of the only people, if not the only person, outside of my family who really knows me. I shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusions I did. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I don’t have any excuses for it, Mateo. I’m sorry.”
I was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. I squeezed his hand and then let him go. “I forgive you.”
“What?”
“I forgive you.”
“You . . . you do? Why?”
“Yeah. I do. I can’t forgive you for Levi or Avery, but I forgive you.” I looked over at him. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to me, because you did owe me that apology. And you owe one to your sister and Levi too. But the thing is, I don’t think we should have hid anything from you. I don’t necessarily regret it, but the moment I knew I wanted forever with both of them, I should have talked to you.”
“I wish you would have,” he said. “I think I still would have been mad. Probably would have overreacted. Kevin really fuckedeverything up. I think I became obsessed with keeping her safe. Especially after our dad died.”
I nodded. “I get it. I do. I don’t have a sister, but I have Maria. I have my grandmother. I have my mom and aunts. And if I ever found out something was happening to them, I would scorch the earth on their behalf.”
Austin let out a slow breath. “Yeah. Well, and to make it worse, I went into her studio. I ruined her painting. I ended up hurting her by not listening. Has she even gone back? All the classes have been cancelled. All the Whynot elderly population are up in arms. I’ve started getting hate mail.”
I fought a laugh. “Oh god.”
“Let me tell you something. Ms. Carlson ismean.”
I grinned. “She really is.”
The two of us smiled until I sighed, relaxing in my seat.
“Avery hasn’t gone back to the studio yet. She’s been sketching a lot at the park. Reading. Doing yoga. Started looking up how to design a house.”
Austin’s eyes widened. “Are you wanting to build?”
“Maybe? It’s been in our long-term talks. Just an idea for the future. I wish . . .” I trailed off, swallowing hard. “It would be big enough for three people. In case Levi comes back.”
“I’ve been really focused on my sister,” he said. “But I haven’t asked you how you are.”
“I’m . . . I’m heartbroken. It’s weird to be with someone I’ve wanted for so long while losing another person I want to be with. We’re both still healing and I don’t know how long it’ll take.”
“She’s loved you for a while,” Austin murmured.
