Connor pushes his own food around his plate, avoiding looking at me. He picks at a string of cheese and wipes it on the side of his plate.
“I didn’t think you were being manipulative,” I clarify, feeling guilty. “I know you’re not Rhys. And I think you’re right. I’d love to go away for a few days and forget everything.”
He looks relieved. “Really?”
“Really. Thank you so much for arranging it, it means the world to me.” I stand and walk to the other side of the counter and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. He immediately puts his arms around my waist and pulls me closer.
“Does this mean I have to go and pack my clothes back up?” I moan into his chest.
Connor laughs softly and kisses the top of my head, sending a warm tingling sensation through my body. “No, I’ve been syphoning off some of your clothes as you were putting them away and packing them in a suitcase for you. You’ll just need to add your phone charger and toothbrush before we leave.”
“You’re bloody wonderful,” I sigh. I hope I have enough time to order a couple of new books to read on the beach. It’s still early enough for them to be delivered by tomorrow afternoon. “When are we going?”
“Finish your lunch and we’ll hit the road.”
There’s no time for me to double-check my suitcase before we leave, which causes me some stress, but I’m so happy to be reliving my childhood memories, I quickly calm down. Connor tells me there are shops nearby to pick up anything we might have forgotten, so I make an effort to relax and enjoy the experience.
I haven’t been back to Llandudno for years, despite it being one of my favourite places. When I was little, my parents would take me every summer holiday, and I loved every minute. The weather wasn’t always wonderful, but I didn’t care. We would play on the beach, walk along the pier eating ice creams, and avoid the swooping seagulls as much as possible. When my dad died, my mum stopped taking me. I never argued or begged for her to take me back, because I knew it wouldn’t have been the same without dad there.
Instead, Mum started to take me on holidays to Spain every year. It was on one of our holidays that she met her new husband, David, an ex-pat who owns a tourist bar. Now Mum lives there, helping him run the business.
Connor insists on driving, given my head injury, so I take it upon myself to become the car’s DJ. I curate a playlist as we go, of happy songs with summer vibes, which Connor and I sing along to almost the whole way to the hotel. As we drive and sing, I find myself looking at Connor. A lot.
He’s been so different since we called our truce; it’s honestly as if Old Connor and New Connor are two completely different people. But I wonder if there’s been a genuine personality overhaul, or if Connor has always been New Connor to everyone else but Old Connor to me. If that’s the case, why did he act so differently with me? I’m curious to know the truth, but I don’tactually care either way. All I know is that I like New Connor – he’s actually my favourite person in the entire world. But as I sit next to him, singing along to ELO’s ‘Mr Blue Sky’ together, seeing him so relaxed and happy with me, a new feeling emerges.
It started as a tiny little firefly in my chest, but every time he smiles at me, every time he calls me baby or absent-mindedly strokes my arm, the firefly grows and flutters its wings a bit harder. Without meaning to, I’ve developed feelings for Connor.
I’ve already decided not to act on my feelings. For one thing, I’ve only just decided to divorce my husband. Not to mention the fact that there’s little to no chance that Connor reciprocates my feelings. I’m his sister’s friend,hisfriend, and absolutely not his type. A guy like Connor would want someone with the body of a swimwear model with glossy hair and straight, white teeth. I’m the opposite. My mousey brown hair is never styled quite right, and my silhouette is more of a bouncy castle than an hourglass. I admit I’ve noticed Connor flirting with me, but it doesn’t mean anything – he’s just a flirtatious kind of guy. But that hasn’t stopped me from enjoying his attention.
“We’re here!” Connor smiles, expertly parallel parking in front of an impressive hotel.
The hotel is on the corner of the main road, overlooking the pebbled beach. It’s painted sunshine yellow and has a beautiful garden, bursting with colour, at the front. As I get out of the car, I look up at the stunning building and smile. A sense of calm washes over me as I breathe in the familiar sea air and listen to the seagulls squawking in the distance. An arm wraps around my shoulder, and I cuddle in closer to Connor. I can’t help myself. He presses a kiss to the top of my head, giving me goosebumps, despite the glorious heat of the day.
“I’ve missed that,” Connor sighs.
I look up at him, noticing, as if for the first time, how muchtaller than me he is. “What?” I ask.
“Just watching you smile. I feel like I haven’t seen it happen in a long time.”
I smile up at him, feeling peaceful in his presence.
“I’m going to make sure you smile every day from now on.”
He gazes down at me as I continue to smile up at him. How could I not when he’s being so sweet? I see his face move an inch closer to mine, and for a brief moment, I stupidly think he might kiss me. But I blink and the moment’s passed, and Connor’s looking away towards the sea.
“I’ll get the bags, why don’t you go and check in?” he suggests, taking his arm from my shoulder.
“Okay,” I say quietly. I don’t know why I’m disappointed, I’ve been under no illusion that Connor doesn’t find me attractive, and I completely understand why. But still, if he’d tried to kiss me, I would have let him.
But he didn’t, so I pull myself together and make my way to the hotel entrance. A bell tinkles as I open the door, and I’m greeted by a young blonde woman sitting behind a desk. She gives me a bland smile, barely looking at me, and mutters a half-hearted hello.
“Do you have a room booked?” she asks, not looking up from her laptop screen.
“Yes.” I try not to be intimidated, but this woman is gorgeous. My self-esteem plummets just from being in her vicinity. It’s not helped by the purple bruise taking up half of my face.
“Single room, is it?” she sneers.
“Erm, I’m not actually sure,” I stutter. I didn’t ask about the sleeping arrangements when Connor told me he’d booked.
