Page 105 of Before I Lost You

I can go home tomorrow.

This entire situation should have terrified me, and it did, but now it feels like I’m finally free. Like nothing bad can touch me. I survived. I got to keep Kenneth. I’mstillhere, and I plan to be for a very long time.

Kenneth squeezes me tightly, and I cry out at the pain in my ribs, which causes him to let go immediately. “Sorry, baby. Sorry.”

“Do it again,” I say breathlessly.

“No fucking way,” he huffs, making me laugh, which only makes me whine from the pain again. “See? You’re basically useless. Can’t even laugh.”

“Useless, huh?” I smirk. “Don’t make me fuck you right here.”

Kenneth raises an eyebrow and smirks. “No sex for you, remember? I plan to follow Dr. Khan’s orders.”

I growl. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” Ken says with a glint in his eyes. Something that looks like pure happiness. “I’m going to make you wait.”

The thought of blue balls makes me groan. “You’re a cruel man.”

“Nah.” He grins. “I just want you to beg for it.”

That makes me chuckle, which hurts like a bitch, but I bite my lip to keep from making a sound. I know it’s only going to make it worse, and he’s just going to torture me for longer. “I’ll beg, baby. But only if you promise to give it to me eventually.”

“You know I can’t deny you for long.” Kenneth winks, then presses a kiss to my lips.

“You’re stuck with me now, you know that?” I ask him, but don’t give him any time to answer. “Forever. We’re forever.”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he whispers.

I know I’ve been happy in the past. The last six months are a testament to that. My past life with him, too. But there’s something about the way my chest is close to bursting with it that’s unfamiliar. It’s as if my body can’t contain this much of it, and it’s overwhelming in the best way. I hope I get the chance to top this feeling one day. Maybe when I ask him to marry me. Or when we actually say I do. The relief that I’ll get to do that now is stark, and it brings a smile to my lips.

This is it.

We did it.

And now we get to start the rest of our lives together.

Chapter 40

UNTIL THE END

Kenneth was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago, but he just texted saying he was on the way in. Now I’m counting down the seconds until he makes it inside with my surprise. The one he’s been talking about for the past ten days, since my first follow-up appointment. He won’t tell me what it is, or even give me a hint, and it’s driving me insane. If I hadn’t gotten the good news at today’s appointment, I’d be irritable. But I don’t think anything can piss me off today. Not when I can finally tell him that we can have sex again. Nothing can ruin that.

I open the oven door and carefully grab the enchiladas from inside, then set them on the stovetop and cover the dish with foil. Right as I step back, the front door opens. I try not to turn and ruin my surprise, but I can’t help it. I’m anxious enough about it, and I’m also ready to give him my great news. Not to be dramatic, but the past three and a half weeks have felt like fifty years. Being celibate is truly not for me, and Kenneth won’t even give me a blow job. He said it’ll be even better when we can finally do it again. That the wait will be worth it. I know he’s rightin a way, but I can’t help wanting him all the damn time. It’s a fucking problem.

“Honey, I’m home!” Ken yells, not paying attention to the fact that I’m already watching him.

He’s carrying a huge frame in his hands, but it’s turned away from me, so I can’t see what’s in the front. When he looks up to find me watching him, he breaks out into the biggest grin I’ve ever seen from him. As if my very existence brings him immeasurable joy. It makes my heart thump faster in my chest, the way his eyes sparkle when I smile back.

“What’s that?” I ask, pointing at the frame. I can’t tell whether it’s a painting or a picture, but when he stops right in front of the couch and gazes at his portrait above it, I know that’s where he wants to hang it.

Kenneth turns the frame over, showing me what’s on the other side. A picture from his studio—the first one we took together. We’re hugging in it, and Ken’s head is turned my way as he gazes lovingly at me. The sight of it makes me feel faint. There’s so much adoration in his eyes, it makes my knees weak, and I can tell he’s waiting for me to say something.

“We look so…happy,” I breathe, and he grins again.

“We were,” Ken replies with a faraway look in his eyes, and then he focuses back on me once more. “I hope we still are.”

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been, baby,” I tell him earnestly. “Now I get to stay right here with you. Hopefully forever this time.”