Page 70 of Before I Lost You

I clear my throat, fidgeting with my fingers nervously. “Would you go out with me?”

Kenneth’s grin widens. “Like on a date?”

“Exactly like that,” I reply, my hands shaking. The fear of his rejection runs deep. I still remember the first time I asked him out, how I had to convince him.

“You don’t even know me,” he pauses, eyebrows rising. “Do you usually ask strangers on dates?”

“I think we just established that I do know you.” My smile is slightly wobbly, but I force myself to continue. “But that’s usually how it goes. You ask a stranger out on a date, then get to know each other.”

Kenny laughs, low and throaty. His real laugh. And it feels like a punch to my chest. “Is that how you usually convince people to go out with you?”

I smirk. “Nah. Just you.”

He looks me up and down again, gaze lingering on my face for a beat longer, then nods slowly. “Okay. One date.”

“I’m Conrad,” I say, offering my hand so he can shake it. He doesn’t. “And you are?”

Kenneth. Ken. Kenny.

Love of my life.

The best thing that’s ever happened to me.

My sun.

My moon.

And all my stars.

“I’m Kenneth.” He smiles. “But you can call me Ken.”

“Are you going to shake my hand, Ken?” I raise an eyebrow. “Or are you going to leave me hanging?”

Kenneth grins, clasping my hand, but instead of shaking it, he pulls me closer until our chests crash together. He lets go of my hand and wraps his arms around my neck, burying his face in the crook of my neck.His spot. The one he always gravitated to. The gesture feels intimate, not like something two strangersshould be doing. I wonder if he feels it too—this thing between us. This undeniable energy. This raging tornado of feelings.

My arms wrap around his waist tightly, and I squeeze my eyes shut, inhaling his tropical scent deep into my lungs. It makes me feel alive. Like an addict who finally got his fix again. Fuck, and it feels so good. It’s indescribable. And the way my body trembles, I know he can feel how much this is affecting me.

Kenneth pulls away first, taking a step back, and my arms fall to my sides. “Wanna go sit down,Conrad?” he asks, tipping his chin back toward the café. “You can tell me more about yourself.”

I swallow hard, my hands suddenly sweating, but I nod. “Sure. Just a second.”

Kenneth smiles, “I’ll get us a table.”

He walks away before I can say anything else, and I take deep breaths, trying to get my shit together. What the hell just happened? Did I really just ask him out? Is this real life or another dream?

I pinch my leg—hard—and curse. Yeah, definitely real. I hurry up and grab the book I was looking at earlier, hurrying towards the café in hopes I don’t run out of time with him. What if he left me while I was looking for this stupid book, and I never see him again? With that new fear unlocked, I make my way toward the café even faster, stopping short when I see him sitting at a corner table in the very back. His eyes are locked on me, a sexy little smirk on his face, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. But he doesn’t. There’s no way he can actually know.

I force myself to slow down, rearrange my features until I’m sure I look less desperate, then sit across from him. For a moment, there’s only silence, and I’m not really sure how to break it. There’s so much I want to say to him, but none of it fits this moment.I love you. I miss you. Please come back to me. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry about your mom.

“So, Conrad,” Kenneth says, breaking the silence. “What do you do for work?”

“I’m a pharmaceutical chemical engineer,” I reply robotically, then wince. But he grins instead, eyes taking in this little shimmer of interest. “It’s not as exciting as it sounds.”

“Oh, it sounds fucking dreadful,” he replies, and I laugh. “I knew you were smart.”

“Oh?” I smirk. “Was it the short shorts that clued you in?”

“Nah. You just have a look about you,” he says with his own smirk, then drops his eyes to my mouth. “Your hoochie-daddy shorts sayotherthings about you.”