twelve
Going out was a terrible idea.
During the long period in which Samuel had been cooped up in the captain’s house, he had never complained. Not once. As much as the flat could be oppressive, it was safe, and the fear of meeting Murdock or being arrested by the police had been the strongest motivation to stay indoors.
But now that the police had stopped searching for him and Murdock was gone, the sunlight was a temptation too big.
He wanted to feel the warmth of the sun on his skin and the breeze on his face. He wanted to be part of the colourful crowd on the pavement. Be someone normal.
But the moment he stepped out of the safety of the flat, he fought the impulse to rush back inside. His legs trembled, and his vision darkened at the edges.
The fear of making a fool out of himself in front of Vivienne forced him to pull himself together, so he swallowed past the lump in his throat and walked close to the captain.
Likely, she already had a poor opinion of him; he barely answered her questions about his past or his future, and her knowledge of books and the world, in general, was so vast itcouldn’t be compared to his. She often talked about famous poets or places he knew nothing about.
To her eyes, he feared he was an ignorant young man with no name and no past. He didn’t want to be marked as a coward as well.
“Beautiful day.” Vivienne closed her eyes for a moment in the sunlight.
Her long eyelashes overlapped at the tips against the perfect alabaster of her skin. When she opened her eyes and realised he was staring at her, he averted his gaze, feeling like a thief.
“Let’s go.” The captain put on a Bowler hat. “It was time to go out, lad.”
“I’m not sure,” Dobkins said. “It might be too soon for Samuel.”
“I disagree,” the captain said. “As usual.”
Stepping onto the pavement, Samuel wished he could hold Lady Vivienne’s hand to get some courage.
The deafening clapping of the horses’ hooves against the cobbles startled him. People talked in loud voices and so quickly he found it difficult to understand what they were saying. Or maybe he was too nervous. The collar of his shirt had turned too tight all of a sudden.
When a boom and a flash of fire blazed out of a corner, he couldn’t contain himself and made a dash for the house.
“Do not worry.” Vivienne closed her hand gently around his wrist. “It’s only the sound of a blast furnace. It makes steel. It’s not dangerous. You must have heard that noise many times.”
Yes, he had, and he also knew what the furnaces did.
He nodded. So much for not being a coward.
The feel of her soft fingers on his skin shot a riot of sensations through his body. He was petrified but not because of fear. He wished to lace his fingers through hers and hold her hand while he walked in this strange city he didn’t understand.
The captain walked next to him as if ready to protect him, and Dobkins walked next to Lady Vivienne.
“Do you want to go home?” Vivienne asked.
He stared at her elegant fingers on his rough skin. “No,” he signed.
“Would you like to go to the park? It’s lovely and quiet.” She withdrew her hand, and his heart thudded faster.
He took her hand, maybe squeezing it with too much energy. She whipped her head towards him, her blue eyes filled with surprise. His manners were non-existent, but he needed the contact with her.
Captain Jackson and Dobkins mostly tried to explain to him all the rules of civil behaviour, but he found it difficult to remember them. Still, even an uneducated man like him understood that grabbing a lady’s hand wasn’t something he should do.
He released her although it cost every ounce of his willpower. “Apologies,” he signed slowly. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t look at the people around you,” she said. “Focus on one of us.”
He walked along the busy pavement. If he ignored the noises and didn’t get distracted by the crowd, he could control his reactions.
