“It’s not fair.”
“Trust me, I know a thing or two about unfairness.”
She exhaled. “You’re right.”
He wasn’t finished. “I’m not deluded. I know I still need everyone’s help to understand the world, but I don’t need you to protect me from my feelings. I’m not scared of the pain. I’m scared of having regrets.”
She raised her sapphire eyes to him.
“That’s why I asked you if I could kiss you.” He slowed his fingers. “But I understand if you don’t want a kiss from me. I’m so beneath you?—”
“Don’t say that. You aren’t beneath anyone.” Then she whispered, “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“I want a kiss.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
His world brightened like the dawn.
She moved closer, her dress swishing with each step. He took a deep breath and traced a fingertip over her cheek, wondering if the touch affected her as much as it affected him. Because he was shivering with unfamiliar emotions.
He dipped his head and kissed her cheek as gently as he could. She smelled of oranges and elegance, of starlight and happiness. The tremor going through him became an overwhelming sensation of joy he’d rarely experienced. Her cheek felt soft and warm under his quivering lips.
When he stepped back, he was surprised to find her frowning. A delicate crease appeared between her eyebrows.
“You didn’t like it,” he signed, forcing himself not to slouch.
“It’s not that. It was very sweet.” She lowered her gaze. “I’m glad you have another good memory to think of in a dark moment.”
He wanted to run his fingers over her shoulders, neck, and cheeks and get lost in her scent and softness, but he was risking everything standing there, and Captain Jackson was waiting for him in the street below.
“Did you like it?” she asked, and put a hand on his chest, sending shivers through his body.
He could only nod because the shock of her touch was too great for him to sign.
A veil of sadness clouded her eyes. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re different from the young men I know.”
The men she knew were normal people. His mind was as broken as his voice box.
“You’re…” He started to sign but paused, searching for the right words. “You’re happiness and freedom.” He winced inwardly. He should have told her how beautiful she was.
She hugged him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her awkwardly. His pulse thundered again.
She cleared her throat. “Samuel?—”
A soft whistle came from the street. Captain Jackson was calling him.
“I have to go.” Never had moving his fingers been so devastatingly painful.
The sadness didn’t leave her face. “I’ll see you soon.” She followed him to the open window.
He was on the branch a heartbeat later and he paused, looking back at her for a shared moment. When he climbed down the tree, he left, carrying with him not her sad eyes but the feeling of his lips on her silky cheek and the lingering scent of her, so sweet, standing in her pretty room.
