Page 101 of Wingmen

He put on the blinker and changed lanes while Reef said whatever he was saying. Dustin’s jaw squared. He looked at Elliot.

“And that’s a problem, is it?” he said. “Uh huh. Right. Listen man, I think you need to get over yourself and grow the fuck up about this. Yeah, seriously. No, it’s actually pretty fucking offensive. Yeah, and actually, while we’re here, I wanna let you know that your behavior, with the drinking and the arm wrestling and the waking up in Spain…yeah, that shit is not gonna fly much longer. Well you’re notthatgood, are you? Uh huh. Alright. Fuck you too. Okay. Bye bye.”

He hung up and held the phone out. Elliot stared at it. He took it back and put it in his lap, and sat for a long time while he processed what just happened.

“I don’t think I wanna be around that guy anymore,” he said.

Dustin nodded. “You don’t.”

They went to Force,where Dustin was scheduled for a session with Tom. Elliot walked to Elaine’s while he was there to get a smoothie and try to put his thoughts in order. He found a table in the sun and called Diego.

Diego was yelling at Renata as he picked up. Elliot waited for him to finish.

“Sorry, bro. Sorry.” Diego sounded frustrated. “How is it?”

“Good, man. You?”

“Tss, I dunno dog. Whatever, she’s leaving.Yeah, I heard you! Okay! Byeeee!” A pause.“Thisfucking guy again?” He came back. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Yo, when are you coming back to Tampa?”

Elliot sighed and put his elbow on the table and his forehead on his fist. He took a deep breath while he studied the sidewalk through the table’s wooden slats. Finally, he said, “Soon. Hey, listen, I need to tell you something.”

Telling Diego he was gay was one of the scariest things he’d ever done. Much scarier than telling Drew or his mom. Because Diego was not all that different from Reef, in some ways. But he was Elliot’s oldest friend. When Elliot got the call in Michigan that Sal had died, Diego was the first person he called. He was usually the first person Elliot called, and if he was going to have a problem with this, then Elliot needed to know.

Diego listened to everything, and then sat in silence for a long time afterward. Eventually, he said, “So… Okay. So lemme get this straight. You…andDustin Bennet…?” Elliot could practically hear him closing his eyes while he processed it. “Are you sucking his dick?”

“Diego–”

“Is he suckingyourdick?!”

“I’m not gonna get into it–”

“Bro. That is – that is, honestly…like, that isoutstanding.That is the most boss thing I ever heard in mylife, dog.”

Elliot felt all the air go out of him and sank back in his chair.

“Holyshit, Mano! Are youkiddingme? The Great Bendito issucking your dick?!De la fuckingmadre, I gotta–” The phone wentaway from Diego’s ear and Elliot heard him moving around in his apartment. “I gottatellsomeone!”

“What?” Elliot sat up. “No – Diego – Diego! You can’t tell anyone. Are you listening? This doesn’t get talked about at your fucking Honda meetup.Diego!”

Diego came back, breathless. “What? Yeah. Right. Okay, yeah, no you’re right. Sorry. But…y’all can tell people, right? Arsenault did it. Did you hear about RileyWebb?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re not gonna tell anyone?”

Elliot sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Man, you really should. Because ifyoudon’t, thenIdon’t get to. And I really need to tell people about this.”

Elliot laughed. He hadn’t realized how worried he’d been about this in the background for, like,weeks.

Diego was making a lot of noise on his end, and Elliot figured he was probably pacing around his apartment, holding himself back from yelling out the window that his boy Elliot Rodriguez was getting his dick sucked by the greatest hockey player of all time. Honestly, he couldn’t have asked for a better reaction.

When Diego settled down, he came back to the phone and said, “Wait…so what happened with your bet?”

Elliot laughed again. He laugheda lot. When he was done, he said, “Yeah, that didn’t really work out.”

“Claro.” Diego laughed. “Oh man.”