Page 100 of Every Almost

She didn't go to a hospital. She stayed in their home, in her bed, the one with the quilt that she and Frank had bought on their honeymoon, and the curtains open so she could see the sky. A hospice nurse came in the mornings and evenings. Charlie and Katie stayed.

They took turns sitting with her. They read to her when she wanted and were quiet when she didn't. Katie brought her tea and Helen drank it because Katie had made it and that was everything. Charlie fixed everything in the house that could possibly be fixed, including the leaking faucet in the bathroom, the loose hinge on the back door, and the light switch in the hallway that had been flickering for years. Her hands neededto be busy while the alternative was sitting still when the most important woman in her life was disappearing in front of her.

One evening,it became clear they were near the end. Helen was awake and lucid but kept drifting in and out of consciousness, occasionally saying things that made both girls realize time was getting shorter. Before the nurse left for the night, the girls spoke with her.

"Is it as bad as it seems?" Katie asked the nurse. The woman looked at Katie, then at Charlie, and nodded her head slowly.

"I'm so sorry, girls. But I think tonight may be time to say your goodbyes." Both Charlie and Katie nodded their heads, fighting back tears. Charlie brushed one away that escaped without her permission. "I can make sure she's comfortable and in no pain if you'd like. I can set her morphine drip to ensure she feels peace."

"That would be perfect," Katie replied. "Thank you."

"Of course," the nurse said. "Let me set that up and then I'll leave you both to be with your Mom." The nurse turned to go, then looked back. "Stay with her tonight. The whole night if you have to. Talk to her, try to get her talking about her favorite memories or things that have always made her happy. It always seems to make it easier for them to move on when they know they're family is happy around them." With that, she touched each girl's arm, then moved back to Helen's room to begin the setup for the night.

Half an hour later, the light through the window was amber and low in Helen's room. Charlie sat in the chair beside the bed. Katie sat on the other side, holding Helen's hand.

"Charlie."

Helen's voice broke through Charlie's thoughts, leaning forward in the chair and taking Helen's other hand.

"I'm here, Mom."

Helen's eyes found hers. They were clear. Tired, but clear.

"There's my girl," she said, smiling big. Then her face turned stern. "But I have a bone to pick with you, you nincompoop."

Charlie let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and something broken. Katie did too, her hand tightening around Helen's.

"You listen to me and you listen good, Charlie Wickett." Charlie sat up straighter, her hand tightening around Helen's. "You look out that window." Charlie gave Helen a look. "I said look out that window, Charlie." Charlie knew when she was beat and turned her head to look out the window. "Do you see that?"

"See what?"

"The sky out there."

Charlie smiled. "Yes, I see that sky."

"You know what it is, right?"

"Technically, it's a mixture of gases and water vapor forming an atmospheric layer that protects us from?—"

"Not that, you smart ass." Helen gave her a look that could have wilted flowers. Charlie turned back to Helen, laughing.

"Then no, Mom, I don't know what it is." Helen's face became solemn, and the feeling that passed from Helen to Charlie made Charlie give Helen her full attention.

"It's a barrier, Charlie," Helen said. "It's a barrier that needs breaking. And you can do it, my love.You." Charlie took a deep, staggering breath. "Charlie Wickett, the smartest woman I've ever known. You never stop reaching for the stars beyond that barrier," Helen began to cry. "You hear me?"

Charlie's tears couldn't be stopped then. She twisted her body back to fully face Helen, bent down, and wrapped the frail woman in her arms. She held her close, tenderly, but with allthe love she felt for this incredible person who, along with her incredible husband, had saved her and her sister and taught them they mattered.

"I hear you, Mom," Charlie whispered. "I won't stop. I promise."

And she meant it, not just as comfort for a dying woman, but as the truth she'd been building toward since that Tuesday in January three years ago, when the Challenger had shown her the cost of reaching for the sky. Helen was telling her to break through the barrier. Charlie would, and she would do it in engines she'd built herself, ones strong enough and safe enough to carry that promise all the way to the stars.

"That's my girl," Helen whispered into Charlie's hair.

Charlie pulled back from Helen, and held her hand close. "Will you do one thing for me?"

"Anything, baby. Anything."

"Say hi to Frank for me." Charlie's eyes flooded with tears. Helen turned her head to the side and regarded Charlie, tears rolling down her cheeks. She raised the hand Charlie held and placed it against Charlie's cheek. Charlie placed her hand over it, pressing into the warmth of her hand like she did when she was younger.