Page 113 of Every Almost

"That's because Kaelari learn to hold them," Reyna said. "It's called suppression. Or, more commonly, it's to 'holdinsert whatever your color is.' We're taught from a very young age to maintain a baseline. It becomes second nature, like breathing. We hardly notice we do it after some time."

Kess nodded. "It's something our minds just come to do on their own, 'holding.' I can't remember the last time I had tofeelmyself actively making it stay."

"It's been thirteen years for me."

Charlie looked at Reyna, and at her gold constellations with new understanding. All that warmth, all that steadiness, held in place on purpose. Every minute of every day.

"What are the other colors?"

"Well, that depends on the Kaelari, and it is usually a personal matter," Kess explained. "But, to explain, most reactionary colors change based on thereasonfor the change, but on different spectrums."

"Right, so though we all 'hold,'" Reyna explained. "Each of us has a different color that flashes in moments when we areunableto do so."

"So you just 'hold’ all the time?" Charlie asked, her eyes widening. "What happens if you slip up or?—"

"Uh uh, we are not going there—" Kess interjected, holding up a hand.

"Oh, no. Just NO. That would be—" Reyna started.

"I mean, could you imagine?" Kess said, turning to Reyna with wide eyes.

"If I had parents, they'd actually disown me," Reyna added.

"Whoa, okay!" Charlie said, her hands up in surrender. "Sorry I asked."

Reyna and Kess looked at each other and laughed. Charlie watched the exchange, fascinated. Whatever she'd stumbled into, the cultural weight was clearly enormous. Kaelari markingsweren't just biology. They were something deeply personal, something you controlled and kept as composure. Letting them slip was apparently the Kaelari equivalent of undressing in public and committing a felony.

"Oh, and there's the aging," Kess interjected

Charlie looked over at her. "The aging?"

Kess removed the monitor from under Charlie's arm and set it on the diagnostic cart beside her. It was Reyna who answered.

"Kaelari live an average of 200 years."

Charlie's eyes went wide.

Charlie studied Reyna. I mean, she couldn't help it. How oldwasshe? Charlie looked at her face closely and tried to reconcile what she was seeing with a lifespan that stretched across centuries. Reyna was standing in front of her looking like a woman in her early thirties, and Charlie's brain was trying to calculate what 200 years of life actually meant. How much you would be able to learn with time like that.

But also, how much you could lose.

She realized she was staring when Reyna tilted her head at Charlie.

"What are you looking at?" Reyna asked.

Charlie shook her head. "I... uh...," she started. "I mean, well, the thing is..." Reyna looked at her quizzically. She knew she was stuttering.

Reyna raised an eyebrow but smiled all the same, which gave Charlie just enough runway to commit.

"Can I ask how oldyouare?"

Kess snorted.

Reyna shot Kess a look, who covered the sound by clearing her throat.

"Sorry, Captain."

"Charlie, don't mind myChief Medical Officerand her inability to contain herself," she said, a slight edge in her voice as she spoke Kess's title, her eyes on her CMO the entire time.