Page 208 of Every Almost

“Katie,” Charlie said. Her sister’s name on her own lips was the only word that wobbled. She steadied it on the next breath. “She’s twenty-three now, but when she’s seventy, I’m going to look forty-five.”

“And that would be noticeable on Earth,” Maren stated softly, her eyes dropping from Charlie’s face to the floor.

Charlie nodded. “The Coalition can’t send me back,” she said, her voice stale. “A human who doesn’t age the way a human should is the kind of evidence your non-contact laws exist for to keep off a planet like Earth.”

“Charlie—" Tavi started, but Charlie couldn’t bear it.

“So,” she interrupted. “That’s it. That’s everything, that’s the whole shitty report.” Charlie’s emotions were taking over, angry ones now. “I can’t go home, and the reason I can’t is because of an accident with technology I didn’t even know existed a year ago and because of laws in a galactic organization that means to leave Earth alone as long as possible. Oh, and because I get to stay young and live a lifespan unbeknownst to humans while my sister doesn’t.”

For a moment nobody said anything. The song wound toward its theme again.

“’Forever Young,’” Tavi said softly. “I get it now.”

Maren pulled a chair from the station next to Charlie and sat down, close, in a way she never did. She placed her hand back on Charlie’s shoulder and just sat, shoulder near shoulder, present.

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it’s all right,” Maren said. “Because, for one, it isn’t. But also, I’d remember I lied to you.” A pause, the shimmer flickering. “But I’m here. I’m going to keep being here.”

“We’re here,” Tavi said, tightening his grip on Charlie’s hand.

Charlie’s throat suddenly felt thick, and it took her a moment to swallow the feeling that lodged there at her friends’ words.

Tavi slid off the edge of the console and stood in front of her. She looked up at him, noticing his usual warmth had come back into him. But now he took both of her hands in his. She could fully feel just how much warmer Tavi’s hands were than human hands. But the warmth was welcome as it moved through her fingers, steadying her.

“Sweetheart.” He waited until she looked at him. “I’m about to be sincere, which is a big deal. Maren will confirm this happens roughly twice a decade.”

Maren made a sound that was most likely agreement.

“You came onto this ship and made yourself useful before you even knew how a datapad worked.”

Charlie scoffed. “Hey, you know what, it’s not like I?—"

“Charlie,” Tavi interrupted, causing her to stop and look at him directly. “For the love of all things Led Zeppelin, please shut up for five minutes.” Charlie stared at Tavi, but within seconds, she felt the corner of her mouth forming into a smile. She nodded gently. “You arrived knowing how to fix all sorts of things, solve all kinds of things. You came in as this remarkable human who only laid claim to ruining Borran’s batter the day you landed.” Tavi smiled at her, his thumb moving over her knuckles. “But Charlie, you don’t have to prove your worth with us, you know that, right?”

Charlie felt her breath hitch, her expression returning to careful stoicism. But Tavi continued.

“You’re crew. You’re Emberkind.” Charlie looked at her hands in his. At Maren, steady on her other side. At the bay where she’d argued with Cael and laughed at Tavi and watched Maren stop dimming her shimmer. “You don’t have to be useful to be ours, Spark Plug,” Tavi continued. “You already are. “

Charlie felt that thickness return to her throat, but for an entirely different reason than before. She heard Tavi’s words, heard what they were saying, and though they wouldn’t bring Katie back, they settled in her bones in a way that gave her the first semblance of hope for whatever came next.

“That’s a low bar, Tav,” she said. “I ruined the batter the moment I arrived, before meeting any of you.” It came out rougher than she anticipated, but she saw the words land with Tavi.

“And we kept you anyway,” Tavi said, his smile warm and stretching across his face. “Tragic, I suppose, but we’ll cope.”

The comment pulled a sound out of Charlie that was half laugh and only a little wet. But she let it, because neither of them tried to make it into more than it was. Maren’s shoulder stayed against her while Tavi’s hands stayed warm against her fingers.

She’d come into Engineering to outrun her own head. But instead she dropped bombs on her friends, and they hadn’t flinched. Somehow, that made the room easier to breathe in than it had been an hour ago.

The song ended, and Tavi reached for his datapad, queuing with specified precision “We Are Family,” because grief had made its appearance but Tavi had standards. He squeezed Charlie’s hands before moving back to his console, while Maren placed a quick kiss against Charlie’s cheek before going back to the Gliders. Charlie watched them walk back to their stations, notably lighter than she had been since the news of her aging had made itself known. She picked up maintenance report and began to read it again, fully absorbing the words this time.

Later that afternoon,Orion sought Charlie out in Engineering.

"Do you have time to talk about your Earth music collection today at the library's archive?" He asked gently. But Charlie understood it wasn't just about the archive. More than likely, it concerned her news that had gone through the ship like wildfire.

Charlie could feel the way people's eyes found her and slid off. She noticed it in Kess's extra-gentle check-in, in Borran leaving a second Gula Cake next to her tray at breakfast, and now Orion was offering her an hour in the calmest room on the ship, doing something that always steadied her.

"Yeah," she said, letting herself relax into the opportunity. "I've got time."

The library was cool and dim, smelling faintly of the old paper Charlie had been surprised to find Orion had started collecting because of her.