Page 297 of Every Almost

Reyna didn't answer right away. This was not something Kaelari usually explained. She had never once said out loud, to anyone. Most people already knew in Coalition space.

But Charlie isn't from Coalition space, is she?

"Our markings show everything," she said. "Everything we feel, the moment we feel it. There's no lying with them. A child blooms every color there is, a hundred times a day, because a child hasn't learned yet to hold them down." She turned her hand over, and the rose moved through her fingers. "You learn young. You pull it all down to one base color and you keep it there."

"Your base color is gold, isn't it?" Charlie asked.

Reyna looked at Charlie with total affection and nodded. "That's right. Mine is gold. Gold is steady. So 'holding gold' shows a captain that her crew can trust in the dark."

Charlie was very still, watching her.

"I have held gold through everything this ship has ever taken from me. Even through Elena and Jere, the only other time in my life where it almost broke. I held it because a frightened captain is a dead crew. But it means I haven't let anyone see what I actually feel in longer than you have been alive."

The rose pulsed at her collarbone, soft, without her permission.

"But there is one color you cannot hold down," Reyna said. "No matter how much you have practiced. It only comes about in one circumstance, if it comes at all." Reyna took a shallow breath. "And if it does, it only shows because of exactly one person. The truth is, most Kaelari never see it on ourselves. I stopped thinking I would."

Charlie's expression changed to determined focus, her brow crinkling.

"It's the last color," Reyna said. "That's what we call it. The one you only wear once it arrives for that one person, if you'relucky enough to wear it at all." She looked down at her own arms, then back at Charlie. "It doesn't fade. You can't fake it, you can't make yourself feel it, and once it comes, it doesn't go back down." A breath. "It means I'm yours. All the way down, in a way I couldn't take back if I tried."

She watched Charlie swallow.

"And I wouldn't try." Reyna looked at her. "I turned this color for you, Charlie.” Reyna laughed softly. “That’s abundantly clear now." Her voice softened. “But that also means… it’s you. You’re… everything.”

Charlie didn't say anything for a moment.

She let her eyes wander up and down Reyna's skin, not even sure she was allowed. She watched the color warm in front of her.

"Your whole body did that," she said. "Because of me?"

"Yes."

Charlie huffed a laugh. "That's the most insane thing anyone's ever told me," Charlie's voice cracked as a smile spread across her face. "And I got flung into space by a broken piece of machinery."

Reyna breathed out something akin to a laugh.

Then Charlie went quiet again, and when she spoke, it was softer.

"You said you can feel yourself holding the gold. All the time."

"Yes."

"Right now even? Under the rose?"

Reyna took a shallow breath. "Yes," she whispered.

Charlie looked up at her, and Reyna watched as her eyes darkened.

"Then stop holding it."

CHARLIE

Charlie didn't want Reyna to be steady because, right now, Charlie felt everything further from the word. And deep down, she knew Reyna did, too.

Reyna's breath caught.

Charlie didn't wait for an answer. She reached out, not to kiss her, not to pull her close, but to touch the light.