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Reyna looked down at the small creature, sleeping in Selowen's arms, her heart suddenly aching at the thought that this little animal was in distress because it had been so long since she, and the rest of the habitats, had been properly taken care of. This bothered Reyna more than anything else had in quite some time.

"They can be naturally anxious creatures. Fast metabolisms and faster nervous systems. But when they are settled, safe, and comforted, they release those calming pheromones."

How had these creatures been aboard the Emberkind, under Jere's care no less, and Reyna had never known these incredible traits about them?

"That's amazing, and well received, I can assure you," Reyna said. And it Reyna didn't miss the fact that seeing this one had settled against Selowen and closed its eyes within minutes of her arrival said more about her new CAO's gift than any credential file ever could.

"I want to know everything about all the creatures we have here. I am only realizing now how lax I've been about getting to know our most special residents aboard," Reyna stated.

Selowen smiled. "I would be more than happy to sit with you and introduce you to each and every one, my dear."

"It's a deal."

Not only did Selowen teach Reyna about every single animal they had on board and those they could also help out with in Coalition space, she introduced each creature to her with a name and a note about their personality. Individual creatures as independent souls, and Reyna got to know each and every one of them. But, if she were to admit in private, her favorite was one of the Mosskin Niblets named Pinlo, for she always settled against Reyna when she held her, and made Reyna feel as though she could take on the world. She came to learn that Mosskin Nibletsweren't just one of the cutest species they had on board, they were also the most helpful for confidence boosts.

Selowen also made a note to tend Elena's legacy with care, making Reyna both grateful and aching. The Habitat Wing had been Elena's dream, built from Elena's fury at the Coalition's indifference to care for the creatures it left behind. And it was Elena's wish to fill the Emberkind with creatures she wanted to save.

Selowen made it hers without erasing Elena, but she brought a sense of warmth and maternal care to it that it had been missing with Jere. Jere brought his specialized training, love for creatures great and small, and his ability to communicate with the animals. But Reyna discovered that Selowen also communicated with the creatures on board, but in a distinct way.

And Reyna couldn't be happier to see her best friend's dream continue on, in the care of someone that would always put the animals first before protocol.

? 1979 / CYCLE 489 | EMBERKIND CV-0417, SECTOR CASSIA ?

The nightmares started three months after Jere left, which was over a year after Elena disappeared, and that was roughly the amount of time it took for Reyna to stop expecting either of them to come back.

The nightmare was always the same. She was on the bridge while it was empty. Every console was dark, every station looked abandoned, covered in dust, rust, and decay. The wideviewscreen at the front showing nothing but the flat, uninflected black of space. It was even missing the stars.

Reyna stood in the center, next to the Captain's console, and called out the names of the two people she missed desperately. Elena first, and then Jere. Occasionally, she would even call out Vessi's name. But when they didn't respond, she began to call out names even she didn't recognize. Perhaps they were names of those that hadn't arrived in her life yet, or maybe they were names of people she would love and lose again in her future, and be stuck calling for them in the dark, too.

But there would never be an answer, from anyone. She would be met with absolute and complete silence and the bridge would stay empty. And yet, the silence would have weight, as though the more names she called, the more it pressed in from every direction, filling the room, rising up through her chest and into her throat until she felt as though she were drowning in a room with no crew and no sound except her own desperate, raspy voice calling out names of those she knew were never coming back.

After the first nightmare, she woke at 0300 with her hand pressed to her sternum as her breathing sucked air in and out of her lungs, as though she had been running around the ship without stopping.

It was clear she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, not after something so intense. So, she got up, put on her casual clothes, and began to walk the corridors of the Emberkind. And this is how it went on.

The first night, Reyna found Borran in his kitchen at 0300. Reyna began to wonder if Borran ever slept because she always found him in his kitchen, no matter the time of the day's cycle.

She walked in to ask him just that when he put a cup of something warm on the counter in front of where she stood. She looked over at him, and his eyes looked softly down on her.

"Drink," he said. "You'll feel better."

It was just like Borran to know what she needed without having to say a damn word. She smiled at him, the fear and anxiety from her nightmare beginning to wear off. She sat at the counter and drank her drink. They didn't speak, but that was okay, because in this type of silence, she knew she wasn't alone.

But the nightmares didn't stop. They became a part of her she wanted nothing to do with but could do nothing about. Often, she would wake from that same nightmare, breathing heavily, her chest tight, her muscles taut. And she'd get up, dress in her casuals, and roam the ship. Occasionally she went into Borran's kitchen, and he was always there waiting for her. But sometimes, she wanted to sit with her own thoughts, even though she was alone. The best place for her to find that was the same place Torvax gave to her every morning before rounds. In the Observation Room, she could watch the extraordinary movement of space outside the Emberkind, remembering that so much went on outside of their little ship in the middle of the universe. And, though she was hurting and scared and missing certain people more than she ever thought possible, the view out the wrap-around windows of that room reminded her that time does move on, whether you want it to or not. There may be parts of her life that she wouldn't get back, people she'd learn to keep in her heart for the rest of her life when they were no longer around. But that was okay. However long it took her to work through her pain and nightmares and grief would just have to be okay, no matter what she changed in her life to accomplish that.

She was afraid of being the only one left. But, in her reality, she had lived through it. Between their trio, she was the only one who remained. So she decided to manage that fear by getting up in the morning, going on her rounds and making it to the bridge, and ensuring, every single day, that the consoles were lit, thestations were manned, and the people meant to be there were present and accounted for.

Decades from now, Kess would tell her that was the most unhealthy and horrific outlook to have at this time in her life. And Reyna would believe her then.

But right now, it was what Reyna needed, what she had to tell herself to be able to move forward, do her job as Captain, and keep the mission going. Because, if she couldn't get her people back, then she'd ensure their legacy continued on in the Emberkind's work. And that promise she would never break.

? 1980-1985 / CYCLE 490-495 | VARIOUS LOCATIONS ?

A pattern began with Reyna that some would frown upon. And, truthfully, Reyna thought to herself that she wished she could have more than what became. But, her mind and heart could only do so much. And so, when the Emberkind docked at stations or ports, Reyna would sometimes find company.

The pattern was at least few and far between, and it was never out of desperation. She had witnessed and been told how some captains pursued connection after years in deep space with the chaotic energy of someone who was trying to outrun loneliness, arriving at the same place no matter how fast they moved.

Reyna was not like that. It would happen unexpectedly. A woman at a port bar who had interesting opinions about Coalition environmental policy, their discussion invigorating and dynamic. Or a fellow captain at a fleet coordination who laughed at Reyna's dry humor, not trying to decode the reasons behind it. It was always the company of someone who feltcomfortable and connected to her for an evening. But most importantly, would not require Reyna to unlock any of the doors she'd sealed around her heart.