He gives me an unamused look. “Okay. Well, I still want to check in on the rest. It’s important to me to know how you’re feeling after that. It was intense, and this is all new to you.”
“Yeah, okay,” I agree, letting him take the lead on this conversation.
“The wax,” he starts with. “Good? Too much?”
I think about the brief sting, but also about how much Ienjoyed it after it started cooling on my skin. “No, not too much. It definitely surprised me, but I liked it.”
“The cold metal?”
“That was worse,” I admit with a laugh. “But in a good way. I didn’t expect the cold to feel that intense, but it shocked my body, so it was surprisingly fun. It was so sensitive and, like, tingly almost.”
“It can be overwhelming,” John says in understanding. “Temperature play can definitely get intense quickly, especially without all your senses engaged. Speaking of, how did you feel about the blindfold?”
“Oh, I loved it,” I answer easily. “I loved the thrill and anticipation of not knowing what you were going to do. I completely trust you, so it was a very positive experience.”
The corner of his lip tips up, and then he swallows, effectively tamping his grin down. “And the arm restraints?”
“Also loved that, feeling like I was completely at your mercy. Maybe next time we can tie up my feet? I’ll lay there spread out for you, ready to have your way with me,” I joke in a suggestive tone.
His eyes darken slightly, but he stays focused on the check-in. “And the crawling? Kneeling?”
I flush a little, but I don’t look away. “I thought I’d feel embarrassed,” I admit. “But I didn’t. I felt like I had a role to play, and I wanted to do a good job so that you’d be proud of me. I liked that you were paying attention to me the whole time.”
“I was,” he says quietly. “You also don’t have to like all of it. I won’t be upset or offended if you don’t.”
“No, I really did like it all,” I assure him. “I want to do it again.”
His gaze searches my face, probably looking for any signs that I’m lying, but he won’t find any. Tonight was amazing. So much better than I could have imagined from just my research. I can’t believe I’ve never thought to try any of this stuff before,but I also don’t think I would have enjoyed it as much with any of my past partners, especially if they wanted me to be the one to take control and initiate. I’m really lucky to have John as the one showing me everything. He’s taken such good care of me.
“Any questions?” he finally prompts.
I think about it for a moment. “When you said that you were going to punish me, I was picturing whips or paddles. Is that something you’re into?”
He smirks. “We can try those things if you want, but I can’t say I’m eager to do either. Spanking is one thing, minor pain and over quickly like the wax, but anything above that I think I worry too much about the pain involved, and as far as punishments go…” He tilts his head to the side, trailing off like he’s thinking about exactly how to phrase his next words. “Well, I enjoy orgasm control a lot more than that. I think it’s fun to edge you or force multiple orgasms out of you when you don’t think you can come again as a form of punishment instead.”
“Don’t tempt me with a good time. No complaints from me.”
“Okay. If that’s everything, stay here,” he murmurs. I instinctively tighten my arms around him. “I’m just going into the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
I don’t want to let him go, but I do.
The loss of his warmth makes me whine softly, but I perk up when John reappears just a few minutes later, walking over to me on my side of his bed.
“I’ve got a bath running for you,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist, helping me up. John guides me out into the hallway and to the bathroom. I feel oddly delicate since he’s being so gentle with me. The tub is only about halfway full as John guides me into it after checking the water temperature with his hand. “Easy,” he says as I step into the tub.
My whole body sighs in relief as the hot water climbs up my chest as the tub continues to fill. John kneels next to it and eventually turns the faucet off. Then he grabs a soapy washcloth torub it over my chest and clean up our releases before taking the time to gently scape off any of the remaining wax.
The whole thing is so very intimate. How does he claim to do this without feelings? Or is that something he just says but isn’t true? Because with this level of care and attention, my brain is struggling to separate the two. No one has ever done anything like this for me.
John warned me that he could only offer me sex. Nothing more. But this feels like a whole lot more.
“Do you always take care of your arrangements like this?” I ask, already bracing for the impact of his inevitable “yes,” but I can’t help it; I need to know. He just asked me about every kinky act we did tonight while holding me, and now he’s cleaning me up in the bath he ran for me.
John hesitates for a moment, swallowing before saying, “It’s always important to do aftercare. It’s the decent thing to do.”
His words soak in as I think about how much I like being on the receiving end of his care and attention. There’s just no way I could keepmyfeelings out of this. I never stood a chance, to be honest. I know the feelings I have for John go beyond the boundaries of our arrangement, and maybe I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place, but I wasn't strong enough to turn down any piece of him he was willing to offer me.
And maybe I should be regretting that decision, but I wouldn’t trade tonight for anything. If this ends poorly, I’ll deal with the fallout then, but for now, I’m choosing to hold onto hope that this is still only the start of things between us. That one day, we’ll be a happy couple.
