“Hey, I’m Porter,” I say in an attempt to not be rude. Even though I sort of wish I was meeting Will’s friends instead.
Fuck.Focus on the people here, damn it.
They launch into conversation, and I end up scanning the bar looking for Will, and of course he’s not here.
I bet he’d come if you invited him, the little voice in my head suggests.
He wants to hang out, and he’s definitely not afraid of judgment, but fuck. Should I be putting boundaries between us?
Normally, I love going out, but it’s harder to pretend I want to be here when Josie is coupled up with Carrie, their hands all over each other like they’ve forgotten the rest of us exist. I don’t know if Carrie’s friends are dating, but either way, I feel like the odd person out, which I’m getting really sick of.
Fuck it. I want to see him, and he said he wants to see me. We can just hang out. I don’t need to read into it.
Porter
Where are you?
It takes all of two seconds before I see the chat bubble indicating he’s typing back. I stare at it until his text shows up.
Will
I’m at home, where are you?
Here goes nothing.
Porter
At girls, gays, and theys night at Main Street Tavern. Want to come?
Will
I’m down! Give me twenty and I’ll be there.
My heart is racing at his response because there wasn’t even a single ounce of hesitation. I finally bring my attention back to my friends. Abbey and Ty are here now, too, making introductions. Josie sits back down next to me, looking nervous.
“Hey. So, um, is there possibly anyone else you’d want to invite to the cabin with us?” she asks hesitantly.
My stomach tightens because as happy as I am for her and Carrie, the last thing I can deal with is feeling left out while they’re coupled up the whole trip. I think that would crush me in my current state of obsessing over Will. “What? Why? Did you want Carrie to go?”
“I can still say no,” Josie says quickly, and my worry heightens that she’s about to completely bail on me. “But Carrie’s sister is getting engaged that last Saturday night. It’s a family dinner with a surprise proposal. It’ll be a whole thing. Carrie’s future brother-in-law just asked her about it this week, and she debated even asking because she knew we had our trip planned. But she decided to leave it up to me and just asked if I’d come and meet her family. It would only be one night.”
My chest tightens in that slow, sinking way because I really wanted to go to this lake house. With her.
“I thought it would take away from the engagement,” Josie continues, rushing now that I haven’t said anything, “but she swore it wouldn’t. She said they actually need a reason to get everyone together without her sister getting suspicious. Apparently, I’m the perfect excuse.”
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I don’t say it out loud. I don’t say anything out loud. I just stare at her, letting her words settle into my chest where all the other inconvenient feelings already live.
Except I wasn’t expecting Josie to bail, so the disappointment is louder and the voice in my head still says,See? You shouldn’t get your hopes up. Things don’t work out for you.
“Oh,” I manage flatly. “Okay.”
Josie watches me carefully, and I try to keep a straight face so I don’t break down. I was really looking forward to this tripwith her. I know we’ll still go and have fun, but I am disappointed it’ll be cut short.
“Porter,” she adds softly. “I can still say no. I don’t have to go. I didn’t give her an answer because I told her I had to talk to you first. I can meet her family another time.”
