“You want to shower? I bought some extra clothes.” I dig inside one of the bags and hand her a T-shirt with “Vegas” printed on the chest. “You can go first.”
She takes the shirt out of my hand and disappears inside the bathroom without sparing me a glance.
I sit down on the armchair and listen until I hear the water running.
I’m so fucking tired I can barely see straight. And my emotions are a mess.
I’ve spent nearly ten years telling Rafaele he should let himself feel things on occasion, but right now, I’d do anything to cut that part of my brain right out.
My throat is tight. My eyes are gritty. It’s inching toward three a.m.—the witching hour, the time when bad men are most likely to do bad things.
But I’ve already committed my share of sins.
I drop my forehead into my palms. I’d been close. So close. If only I’d kept Nero in check like I said I would. If only I hadn’t fallen back to old habits.
Blake and I would still be happy. Sandro would still be bossing me around.
My eyes squeeze shut.
I can’t believe he’s gone. I keep expecting him to call me and ask me where the fuck I’ve gone. Don’t I know we’ve got meetings to go to?
No, I can’t dwell on these thoughts right now. There’ll be a time to grieve Sandro, but it’ll be after I get Blake to safety and make sure his sacrifice wasn’t in vain.
The bathroom door swings open, and a cloud of steam rolls out.
Blake stands in the doorway wearing the oversized T-shirt I gave her, her hair dripping onto the cheap motel carpet.
She looks tired and frail.
I straighten in my seat. “You have to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Starving yourself isn’t going to help.”
Her eyes flare. “You’re right. I’ll need my strength if I want to get away from you.”
I stare at her.That’s never going to happen.
She rummages through one of the bags and pulls out a protein bar and a bottle of water. She takes a seat against the headboard on the bed. The sound of the plastic wrapper ripping crackles through the silent room.
“We need to talk,” I say.
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Then just eat and listen.”
She takes an angry bite and gives me a look so withering it threatens to cave in my chest.
She hates me.
A rising panic clogs my throat. It’s not like I deserve any better, but there’s a desperate voice inside me that’s screaming at me to get on my knees and beg for her forgiveness.
If I thought that would work, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
But we’re beyond that. What I’ve done is unforgivable. Still, I don’t want to die without making sure she understands that what we had was real for me.
I swipe my palm over my lips. “I never wanted it to go down like this. When Sandro and I first got to Darkwater Hollow, I was lost. I missed my old life so damn much, I would’ve doneanything to get it back. But then I met you, and everything started to change. I actually wanted to leave Nero behind. I wanted to be Rowan, because that was the only way I could have you.”
