She swallows.
“I lied to you about a lot of things, Blake. But I never lied about how I felt about you. I—”
“Stop it,” she snaps. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“Nothing made sense until I moved in next door to you. I was barely holding it together in Darkwater—”
“If your life was such a mess, you should’ve known better than to drag someone else into it. You knew everyone around you could get hurt if your past caught up with you. You knew that, didn’t you? You just didn’t care.”
That cuts deep. It’s not that I didn’t care. It’s that I was too arrogant to acknowledge the possibility that Brett would find a way to nail me.
That fucking arrogance had spelled my downfall.
“I made a lot of mistakes,” I admit.
She narrows her eyes. Maybe she expected me to argue with her.
“But do you know what wasn’t a mistake? Us. What I feel for you is real. And it’s been real this whole time.”
“Enough,” she snarls. “I don’t want to listen to this anymore. Like I said, I have nothing left to say to you, Rowan, Nero, or whoever the hell you are. Just leave me alone.”
I watch her turn away from me, the hurt and anger radiating off her in waves. She curls up on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest as if trying to protect herself from more pain.
My body feels cold. There’s nothing worse than this—letting down someone you care for to the point where they don’t even want you in their life anymore.
I clench my fists against the pain inside my chest. I can’t undo the past, but I have to try to make things right, if not for me, then for her.
I get to my feet, grab one of the pillows off the bed, and drag the armchair to the front door. Tonight, I’ll sleep with my back pressed against it, because I’m still not convinced she won’t try to run. I’ll wait until she’s out cold and then take a quick shower. I’m in desperate need of one.
After a few minutes, she tugs the blanket up to her chin and turns off the light.
Darkness has never scared me, but tonight is different. Tonight, it presses down on me until my lungs strain to breathe.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whisper into the still air.
If Blake hears me, she doesn’t say a word.
Two days later,we enter New York State.
Blake’s walls are up, and they’re impenetrable. I used to be able to read her, but I have no idea what she’s thinking anymore. The entire time we’ve been driving, she’s barely said a word.
She breaks her silence when we reach Manhattan. “Where are you taking me?”
Relief pangs through my chest as I glance at her. “You’re speaking to me again?”
“Just answer the question.” She turns to the window and stares at the skyscrapers towering above us.
My hands shift on the wheel. Does she realize this might be the last hour we have with each other? I get the feeling she didn’t believe me when I said the Ferraros are likely to kill me.
Maybe she thinks I’m lying, or maybe she thinks I’ve got some other plan that doesn’t end up with me dead.
I don’t.
The only plan I have is to keep her safe.
That’s all I’ve got to do.
Keep her safe.
