Page 114 of Endless Depths

The knob twists. The door cracks open. Finn peeks around the corner.

“Uncle Morgan?” He opens it wider.

In the span of a single second, I panic. What if he thinks I’m Seb? We should have told him.

“Uncle Cole? Uncle Cole!” The door swings open and he runs out onto the stoop, just in time for me to kneel and open myarms.

I squeeze him so hard, and the reality of him in my arms, of the miracle of this tiny human giving me another chance, is all so overwhelming.

“I missed you, buddy. I missed you so fucking much.”

“I missed you so fucking much too,” Finn says.

“Way to go, asshole,” Shay says from somewhere within.

I pick Finn up, and he presses a tiny palm to my cheek. “I’ve never seen you cry before.”

I snuffle a laugh and wipe my tears on my shoulder. “Yeah. I thought I’d give it a try, and now I never stop.”

Morgan strokes my back, and musses Finn’s hair. “Missed you, kid.”

“Thanks for bringing Uncle Mor back, Uncle Cole.”

“I brought your daddy’s mitt back too.”

“When do you have to go fishing again?” he asks me.

I look at Morgan. We decided we would wait until he asked, but what if it’s too much for one day? What if something happens and I can’t stay? I don’t want to let him down.

“We’re both staying home for the holidays,” Morgan says. “Then I’ll go back to drive theBriarfor opies and Uncle Cole will stay with you.”

Finn’s brow wrinkles. “You’re not going together?”

“Not this time,” Morgan says.

“I want to be where you are,” I tell Finn. “If that’s okay?”

I brace for him to slap me with his rejection and tell me I killed his dad, but no. He emits a high-pitched squeal that only a whale could understand.

“Can we have a slumber party again, Auntie Shay?” he hollers over his shoulder, then turns back to me, eyes narrowed. “You can’t leave this time.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Let’s go inside, hm?” Morgan says, picking up our bags.

I move to stand, but Finn clings to me like a very adorablebarnacle, so I pick him up and hug him again. “Thank you, Finny. Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Helping me find my way back home.”

He tightens his arms around the back of my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. “Daddy would be proud of you.”

I meet Morgan’s gaze over Finn’s head. Finn’s probably just parroting back something Shay and Morgan have said, but I feel Seb here. I never felt closer to him. Not on theBriar, not on the Bering Sea, not where we buried Seb’s things. I feel him here, in Finn’s pint-sized heart beating against my chest, in the warmth of the home he wanted me to raise his son in, in the view of my husband, no longer estranged, the husband who dove into danger to save me.

After Seb died, I was so focused on what I lost, but Seb gave me so many gifts, and I’m not going to waste his sacrifice. Not anymore.

It takes us all a few minutes to be normal again. Finn recovers the quickest.