Page 21 of Endless Depths

Wes wraps his dinner plate-sized hand around my shoulder and gives me a little shake before releasing me. “You’re doing a damn good job. You consulted a professional, and you gave Finn the power to choose. Five isn’t too young to know what you want. Cole’s not here, but you surrounded Finn with love.”

“Thanks for saying that.”

Beside Wes, Alejo peels the label off his bottle, perky mustache drooping with his frown. Losing Seb must be especially hard on him. Seb took care of him, just like he took care of me, but we failed to save him.

Wes turns to Alejo. “You okay, kid?”

Alejo nods, cheeks flushing against his fair complexion.

Wes doesn’t have any kids, but he’s always felt like a father figure on the boat. Maybe it’s the beard and burly physique, or maybe it’s the life experience he’s packed into forty-odd years. I don’t know. But he’s taken on an even more paternal role after Seb died, and I’m grateful.

Lawrence rifles through the mangled monster truck piñata on the coffee table and pulls out a lollipop. He’s still wearing the unicorn horn party hat he put on over his shoulder-length hair to make Finn laugh. “How was your first birthday after your parents died?”

I wince at the memory. My uncle had to work, and I didn’t know anyone in Washington yet. “It sucked.”

“Exactly.” Lawrence lost his dad to suicide, so he gets it. “My dad’s friends sneaked me into Midaft and bought me a beer. My dumb ass felt cool as hell, but I spent the night staring down atthe tabletop while they got drunk. I still remember that table, waxy lacquered wood with a knife gouge or two. Today was going to suck no matter what you did, but he’ll look back on this someday and remember you showed him he was loved.”

“Thanks, man. That actually helps.”

“Don’t act so surprised.”

“The unicorn horn doesn’t exactly scream credibility.”

Javi laughs mid-swig and sputters. Lawrence smacks the center of his back roughly, then takes off his hat and slingshots it at my chest, drawing a small laugh from Finn.

“Ha! I finally made you laugh,” Lawrence shouts, pointing at Finn, who rewards him with another laugh.

“Seb and Cole bought me a chocolate cake on my birthday after I moved in,” I say. “I was sad as hell, but it’s a comforting memory now.” Tears sting my eyes. I pinch the bridge of my nose and blink them back. I lower my voice, and add, “I wish they were here.”

Javi holds the box of tissues out to me, and I take one. He takes one too and chucks the box at Lawrence. “Way to go, asshole. Thanks for making us all cry.”

“Me?” Lawrence says, chucking it back. “That was all Morgan.”

Javi shakes his head and passes the box to Alejo. He takes three and hands the box back.

“Next year will be better,” Javi says, eyes on Gabi, laughing with Shay while they wash dishes.

“Maybe.” Lawrence pops the lollipop into his mouth. “Or maybe he’ll grow up to hate his birthday like me.”

“Not helpful,” Javi says.

“Have any of you heard from Cole?” I ask.

They answer with a round of shaking heads.

Javi’s mom pushes through the back door, and lugs a rolling ice chest into the kitchen. She opens the chest and plops a tower of store-bought corn tortillas on the counter, then unloads two casserole dishes, four large food containers, and a dozen foil-wrappedtamales into our fridge before I can ask what she’s doing or offer to help. It’s not the first time she’s done this. She kept us fed for the first few months after Seb died, and still stops by every few weeks tosneak attack us with food, as Finn likes to say. I’ve learned by now that resistance is futile and devour her meals without guilt.

She closes the fridge, and snaps the ice chest shut, then exhales through pursed lips, blowing her curls from her brow. “Feliz cumpleaños, mi cielito,” she tells Finn, and hugs him.

“I think we should go kick Cole’s ass,” Lawrence says.

Javi fist-bumps Lawrence. “I’m in.”

“Please don’t,” I say. “He’s trying his best.”

“Fuck that,” Lawrence says. “He’s being a little bi—Perdón, señora.”

Mrs. Rodriguez shakes her head ruefully at Lawrence. “Mijo, I’m ready to go.”