Page 44 of Endless Depths

He nods. “I guess so.”

I shake my head, disgusted with him, with myself. Fuck this. I need to focus on being the man Finn needs me to be, instead of chasing someone who hurts me. I need to quit Cole cold turkey, and resist his siren’s call.

“I quit.” I throw my hands out at my sides as if I’m physically washing my hands of him. “I’m done fighting for you.”

With numb acceptance, I walk away, leaving behind the part of my soul I promised to him. I’ll cauterize him out of my heart, let him find himself, or not. I’ll break my promise to Seb. I’ll break my vows.

Agony sweeps over me, along with a wave of despair that nearly knocks me off my feet.

I’ve lost a shit ton of my hearing working around heavy machinery, but I always hear Cole, whether he’s shouting at me over high seas and howling wind, or telling me he doesn’t want to die before he’s swept overboard, or right now, when blood roars in my ears, and he says a single word.

“Wait.”

My footsteps slow. I almost stop. Almost. But I don’t. I wait for a Subaru to pass, then cross the two-lane street.

“Wait!” Cole shouts.

I swirl around. “What?”

He wraps his arms around himself, and I fight the urge to offer him my jacket, to hold him against me, to keep him warm. Taking care of him is a habit I’ll have to break.

“I’m not seeing that guy. I interviewed him for your position on the boat.”

Relief fills me, but it’s only a brief reprieve before anger smolders inside my chest at the thought of another man taking my job on theBriar. It’s my goddamned spot.

Fuck. I can’t think about this right now, about all the empty spaces we’ll leave in each other’s lives. I don’t want him to see how much pain I’m in, so I force a flimsy attempt at nonchalance and shrug. “Great. I hope he’s a good fit.”

“Morgan Morrissey!” Cole calls.

His last name attached to the end of mine slices a gash from my sternum to my gut. Morrissey won’t be my name anymore.

My pulse pounds. I need to get away before he draws me back in. I fish my keys out of my pocket, click the unlock button on the fob, and search for the blinking lights through a veil of tears and fog. I’m so lost without him I can’t even remember where I parked my truck.

My phone vibrates, and I pull it out of my pocket.

SUNSHINE is calling.

I turn warily. He’s standing across the street with his phonepressed to his ear. Keeping my gaze trained on him, I swipe the screen and answer.

“I’m not seeing anyone,” he says without preamble.

Good. We may be over, but I’m not ready to accept that someday he’ll love someone who isn’t me.

“I have to go,” I say.

“No. Don’t hang up.”

I clench my jaw so tightly my teeth ache, but I stay on the line.

“I don’t want anyone else.” He looks over his shoulder, and back to me. “I don’t want you to stop fighting for me.”

“I’m not sure I have any fight left.”

His sigh snuffles across the line. The streetlight turns red. Finally, he says, “Then I’ll fight for you.”

A bread truck stops at the light, blocking him from view. He’s silent for so long that I check my screen to see if the call dropped. The light turns green and the truck drives away, revealing Cole’s lost gaze searching for me. When his eyes land on me, he looks so relieved.

“You said I should call you if I wanted to kiss someone,” Cole says.